Dawn's Digression.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Life Phase #327
It feels like I have been through a bazillion life phases; it is a constant state of change. This time last year, I was starting a new job and living with my wife. Now, I'm preparing to move out of my apartment and in with my girlfriend. Certainly not something I would have seen coming a year ago. Change is good. Indeed, change has been a friend to me. I'd hate to think where I would be if I hadn't allowed myself to make changes when they needed to be made. But at the same time, change is stressful and exhausting. One of my friends said to me the other day, "When I know where I'm supposed to be, I just like to hurry up and get there." Me, too. Now that I know where I'm going, I'm ready to be there. I'm trying to ensure that I'm not treating every day until I get there as marking time. I seem to function pretty well amidst change. Sure, I get all anxiety-ridden, but there is nothing new about that...I'm a little ball of anxiety, to be sure. I'm not sure if it is faith, love or stupidity, but I am not all that concerned with the change moving in with Tracy will bring. I am constantly shocked when I realize that I seem to be in an adult relationship. I can bring things to the table without having to worry about a fight. Part of that is that I've learned to keep my damn mouth shut until I've thought things through. You wouldn't believe how hard I've worked on that one. I have to physically bite my tongue sometimes. But, whatever works, works. And it is working.
Frank is amazing. I am so proud of my little man. He is doing really well with his potty training, in my opinion. He didn't have a single accident today and went out of his way to find the puppy pad in my office he wanted to use. I think it might be time to start decreasing the number of pads I use. Dare I? :) He is now running up the stairs to my apartment. When I brought him home, he couldn't even make it up the first one. I had to pick him up anytime there was a step. He makes the cutest little running leaps. And I love to watch him problem solve. I watch him figure out ways to make things work the way he wants them to and I'm just so damn proud. Did I already say that? I might have. He's also gained some serious weight. I wouldn't doubt that the chubby little guy is 4 pounds now. Cousin Jack stayed with us while his mommies were in Mexico. Frank enjoyed having someone to play with, but the selfish Momma that I am, I'm glad to have some of his attention back. I missed my baby!
I was sick for a week. It sucked. It was pretty much the entire time Jack was here. I'm sure Frank would have driven me nuts if Jack hadn't been here, but I was incredibly frustrated. I actually cried one day because Jack kept peeing on the carpet, I didn't feel good, Peanut threw up ON the bed and on my clean laundry and I needed to be working, yet felt like sleeping. I was sooo stressed and beat down. Tracy came and got me and the boys on Friday and took us out to Corinth so she could watch everyone and I could get some rest. Can I just say that 5 dogs are WAY too many? WAY. Tracy and I will have 3, which is still over my dog limit, but I'm certainly not complaining. The 3 cats may kill us, though. Cats are so particular. Tracy's cat has the biggest attitude I think I have ever seen on a cat. Bernie is about 8, I think, and is a giant fur ball of entitlement. That is Bernie's house, DAMMIT. He smacks up all the dogs. And me. Bernie and I are going to butt heads. But in a loving way. While Bernie and I are butting heads, Peanut will be peeing on something and Boobies will be hiding under a bed, no doubt. At least the birds are low maintenance.
We went to see Melissa Etheridge in concert Saturday night. I really wanted to see her, but didn't want to fork over the cash for it. One of Tracy's friends got sick and decided to GIVE her both tickets, which was beyond kind and generous. When we first got there I was unimpressed, but she played for a long time and her closing set was quite magnificent. A good time was had by all. Here is something that I thought was strange. She closed with "Keep it Precious". Nice, but different that she closed with a slow song.
Work has been difficult for me the past few weeks. I have been getting myself in quite a bit of hot water. I'm not sure how much of it is me doing things incorrectly and how much of it is me having to take a hit for things. It is actually beginning to beat me down. I've never had a job where my performance was an issue. Never. I am trying to do everything right, but somehow I manage to mess something up. The crappy thing about my job is that everything I do relies on what others do and I'm a coordinator, which means that my job is to make everyone happy. This cannot be done. So, if I don't piss off one person, I'm going to piss off another. Bad for my psyche.
Frank is amazing. I am so proud of my little man. He is doing really well with his potty training, in my opinion. He didn't have a single accident today and went out of his way to find the puppy pad in my office he wanted to use. I think it might be time to start decreasing the number of pads I use. Dare I? :) He is now running up the stairs to my apartment. When I brought him home, he couldn't even make it up the first one. I had to pick him up anytime there was a step. He makes the cutest little running leaps. And I love to watch him problem solve. I watch him figure out ways to make things work the way he wants them to and I'm just so damn proud. Did I already say that? I might have. He's also gained some serious weight. I wouldn't doubt that the chubby little guy is 4 pounds now. Cousin Jack stayed with us while his mommies were in Mexico. Frank enjoyed having someone to play with, but the selfish Momma that I am, I'm glad to have some of his attention back. I missed my baby!
I was sick for a week. It sucked. It was pretty much the entire time Jack was here. I'm sure Frank would have driven me nuts if Jack hadn't been here, but I was incredibly frustrated. I actually cried one day because Jack kept peeing on the carpet, I didn't feel good, Peanut threw up ON the bed and on my clean laundry and I needed to be working, yet felt like sleeping. I was sooo stressed and beat down. Tracy came and got me and the boys on Friday and took us out to Corinth so she could watch everyone and I could get some rest. Can I just say that 5 dogs are WAY too many? WAY. Tracy and I will have 3, which is still over my dog limit, but I'm certainly not complaining. The 3 cats may kill us, though. Cats are so particular. Tracy's cat has the biggest attitude I think I have ever seen on a cat. Bernie is about 8, I think, and is a giant fur ball of entitlement. That is Bernie's house, DAMMIT. He smacks up all the dogs. And me. Bernie and I are going to butt heads. But in a loving way. While Bernie and I are butting heads, Peanut will be peeing on something and Boobies will be hiding under a bed, no doubt. At least the birds are low maintenance.
We went to see Melissa Etheridge in concert Saturday night. I really wanted to see her, but didn't want to fork over the cash for it. One of Tracy's friends got sick and decided to GIVE her both tickets, which was beyond kind and generous. When we first got there I was unimpressed, but she played for a long time and her closing set was quite magnificent. A good time was had by all. Here is something that I thought was strange. She closed with "Keep it Precious". Nice, but different that she closed with a slow song.
Work has been difficult for me the past few weeks. I have been getting myself in quite a bit of hot water. I'm not sure how much of it is me doing things incorrectly and how much of it is me having to take a hit for things. It is actually beginning to beat me down. I've never had a job where my performance was an issue. Never. I am trying to do everything right, but somehow I manage to mess something up. The crappy thing about my job is that everything I do relies on what others do and I'm a coordinator, which means that my job is to make everyone happy. This cannot be done. So, if I don't piss off one person, I'm going to piss off another. Bad for my psyche.
Dawn, 8:45 PM
1 Comments:
We went to the Melissa concert too. Loved it!
