Dawn's Digression.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Sir Franklin Edermeyer made his toy squeak all by himself for the first time today. I'm very proud!
*yawn*
I am so tired. I suppose I should just pass out, but I am wanting to pretend like I'm going to study later. Ha. Haha. I am the worst studier to ever live. My mom and I went tonight to see Sheryl Crow. Not too bad. Man, is she thin. Super mega not attractive thin. Dunno if maybe this is because she was just sick or maybe she was always this thin and I just didn't know. Another thing. I don't think I ever noticed how shrill her voice is. It's never come across that way to me before, but goodness.... ouch.
So. Looks like I'm moving in with Tracy. Most likely in September. How 'bout them apples? We're gonna have 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 birds. Plus whatever strays that pop up, I'm sure. We're both suckers for cute fuzzy things. I'm gonna live way out in the boonies. Tracy even admits it is the boonies. I'm actually okay with it. It'll be yucky at first because right now I am central to everything and everyone and I really like it. BUT. There are lovely things about the boonies. Big yards. Stars. Peace and friggin' quiet. Since I work at home, I'm not sure how much complaining I could actually do. Most likely, the hardest part for me will be living where she lived with her ex. That is a bit uncomfortable, but I try not to think about it. I don't have any other housing suggestions, and I don't really want any others. It will be an adjustment. I'm pretty sure I have the deer in the headlights look a lot these days. I'm totally petrified. The last time I made this sort of decision, it was not a good one. And, yeah, yeah....Different relationship different yadda yadda. Doesn't matter. I am allowed to be afraid. I am allowed to be . er. whatstheword. Skeptical, I guess. This is where I work on that faith thing. It isn't easy, ya'll. Not for me. Not anymore. Perhaps I can go with Tracy's worst-case scenario question she uses for stuff sometimes. What is the worst thing that could happen? I could move in and have to move back out. Then my employer could get pissed off and fire me for moving too much and them having to move my crap all the time. I would be broke and homeless, so I'd go live with my parents for a tad until I found another job. And if I lived with my parents for awhile, maybe I could pay some stuff off. Hey, this isn't so bad, after all! Ha. See? Her reasoning helps. I think what it comes down to is the same thing it always comes down to with me. My fear of not being good enough. I fear that Tracy will get me and then decide I'm not what she wanted after all, but just someone that came around at a convenient time.
*yawn*
I am so tired. I suppose I should just pass out, but I am wanting to pretend like I'm going to study later. Ha. Haha. I am the worst studier to ever live. My mom and I went tonight to see Sheryl Crow. Not too bad. Man, is she thin. Super mega not attractive thin. Dunno if maybe this is because she was just sick or maybe she was always this thin and I just didn't know. Another thing. I don't think I ever noticed how shrill her voice is. It's never come across that way to me before, but goodness.... ouch.
So. Looks like I'm moving in with Tracy. Most likely in September. How 'bout them apples? We're gonna have 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 birds. Plus whatever strays that pop up, I'm sure. We're both suckers for cute fuzzy things. I'm gonna live way out in the boonies. Tracy even admits it is the boonies. I'm actually okay with it. It'll be yucky at first because right now I am central to everything and everyone and I really like it. BUT. There are lovely things about the boonies. Big yards. Stars. Peace and friggin' quiet. Since I work at home, I'm not sure how much complaining I could actually do. Most likely, the hardest part for me will be living where she lived with her ex. That is a bit uncomfortable, but I try not to think about it. I don't have any other housing suggestions, and I don't really want any others. It will be an adjustment. I'm pretty sure I have the deer in the headlights look a lot these days. I'm totally petrified. The last time I made this sort of decision, it was not a good one. And, yeah, yeah....Different relationship different yadda yadda. Doesn't matter. I am allowed to be afraid. I am allowed to be . er. whatstheword. Skeptical, I guess. This is where I work on that faith thing. It isn't easy, ya'll. Not for me. Not anymore. Perhaps I can go with Tracy's worst-case scenario question she uses for stuff sometimes. What is the worst thing that could happen? I could move in and have to move back out. Then my employer could get pissed off and fire me for moving too much and them having to move my crap all the time. I would be broke and homeless, so I'd go live with my parents for a tad until I found another job. And if I lived with my parents for awhile, maybe I could pay some stuff off. Hey, this isn't so bad, after all! Ha. See? Her reasoning helps. I think what it comes down to is the same thing it always comes down to with me. My fear of not being good enough. I fear that Tracy will get me and then decide I'm not what she wanted after all, but just someone that came around at a convenient time.
Dawn, 12:24 AM
1 Comments:
I'm happy for you, Dawn. You deserve so much happiness and I'm so glad you found it. We all need to do a double-date thing sometime soon. BTW, did I mention that Erica is moving in with me in August?
