Dawn's Digression.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Aarrrrrrrrgggghhhhh!
Please see above.
Dude.
My ex frustrates the shit out of me. I should have freaking handled the cell phone way back in January. I was trying to be nice for all the good that did me. You know what good it did me? A good $300 worth of good. Negative good. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
DAMMIT.
I've been frustrated all day today about the cell phone. Michele calls me at 10:30 tonight thinking I wouldn't answer. But I did. She was trying to leave a msg, I'm sure. That didn't work. Then she wants to ask me about my life and how things are going. I must tell you, at this point, I just want to not pay for the cell phone any more and move on. I'm sick of it. We broke up almost 8 months ago, and it is ridiculous I'm still dealing with this.
I am sick of exes. Sick of them. When Rachel and I broke up, I tried to be friends with her at first, but it was impossible. I quit talking to her for about a month. There wasn't a day I didn't want to call her, but it was what I needed to do in order to move on. It was a long time before I was able to talk to Rachel without becoming upset or nostalgic.
I'm just agitated tonight. I've been agitated since Tracy left. I was dwelling on this whole cell phone thing all evening. Feels like I worry about others to my exclusion sometimes. Why do/did I care what was good for Michele regarding the cell phone? What the hell kind of doormat am I? I keep trying to be nice. Um. Why? Who the hell is kissing my ass? Um. *looks around* Well, there's the cat. :) I mean, seriously. *flings poo at the wall* (that was random...haha) It wasn't good for me to have her on my plan. Why did that matter more than what was good for me? It's disgusting. Once again with the backbone thing. *sigh* I need to think about this and find a happy medium between, understanding, kindness and being a damned door mat.
I've been meaning to buy some gold for a year or so. You know, the precious metal. :) Tonight I bought $2500 of it. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this goes better than my previous financial endeavors. Gold is said to be a pretty safe investment. I'm hoping.
I got a new bird yesterday! He doesn't have a name, yet. Another society finch (like Howard). He has the prettiest call. When I first heard him singing yesterday, I got a little teary. I am such a child at times...Touched by the goofiest things. I'll try to get a picture/sound clip of him soon.
Tracy and I had a right nice weekend. We saw The DaVinci Code Saturday night. I think she liked it more than I did. For me, it was just a little too long. I prefer my movies shorter than two hours. It didn't suck...I'm not saying that. It just won't make my list of favorite movies. Last night we went to a Rangers game with a couple of her friends. And ya know what?!? I wasn't bored. I was relieved about that. The last time I went to a game, I was bored out of my mind. This morning we had breakfast and then she went to hang out with her family and Teena. Oh, and then I worked. I also worked Saturday until around 5.
I'm still in DF Hell. I tried some of the visualizations the other day and they all sounded like crap. I tried reading some of the book, but that didn't work for me, either. Oy. *sigh*
What would happen if I needed some reassurance? Shall I tell you? I shall. A big fucking nothing. Somebody call the waaaaaaaambulance, cuz I want it to be all about me at some juncture. Ugh. I need to go to bed, I think.
I can say this, I have lunch with Melody on Thursday, and I'm thrilled about it. I haven't seen her in over a year, and our yearly meeting is overdue! ha. :) This is what I look forward to this week.
It is just me or are all these movies about great teachers helping terrible kids the same as "To Sir, With Love"?
Dude.
My ex frustrates the shit out of me. I should have freaking handled the cell phone way back in January. I was trying to be nice for all the good that did me. You know what good it did me? A good $300 worth of good. Negative good. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
DAMMIT.
I've been frustrated all day today about the cell phone. Michele calls me at 10:30 tonight thinking I wouldn't answer. But I did. She was trying to leave a msg, I'm sure. That didn't work. Then she wants to ask me about my life and how things are going. I must tell you, at this point, I just want to not pay for the cell phone any more and move on. I'm sick of it. We broke up almost 8 months ago, and it is ridiculous I'm still dealing with this.
I am sick of exes. Sick of them. When Rachel and I broke up, I tried to be friends with her at first, but it was impossible. I quit talking to her for about a month. There wasn't a day I didn't want to call her, but it was what I needed to do in order to move on. It was a long time before I was able to talk to Rachel without becoming upset or nostalgic.
I'm just agitated tonight. I've been agitated since Tracy left. I was dwelling on this whole cell phone thing all evening. Feels like I worry about others to my exclusion sometimes. Why do/did I care what was good for Michele regarding the cell phone? What the hell kind of doormat am I? I keep trying to be nice. Um. Why? Who the hell is kissing my ass? Um. *looks around* Well, there's the cat. :) I mean, seriously. *flings poo at the wall* (that was random...haha) It wasn't good for me to have her on my plan. Why did that matter more than what was good for me? It's disgusting. Once again with the backbone thing. *sigh* I need to think about this and find a happy medium between, understanding, kindness and being a damned door mat.
I've been meaning to buy some gold for a year or so. You know, the precious metal. :) Tonight I bought $2500 of it. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping this goes better than my previous financial endeavors. Gold is said to be a pretty safe investment. I'm hoping.
I got a new bird yesterday! He doesn't have a name, yet. Another society finch (like Howard). He has the prettiest call. When I first heard him singing yesterday, I got a little teary. I am such a child at times...Touched by the goofiest things. I'll try to get a picture/sound clip of him soon.
Tracy and I had a right nice weekend. We saw The DaVinci Code Saturday night. I think she liked it more than I did. For me, it was just a little too long. I prefer my movies shorter than two hours. It didn't suck...I'm not saying that. It just won't make my list of favorite movies. Last night we went to a Rangers game with a couple of her friends. And ya know what?!? I wasn't bored. I was relieved about that. The last time I went to a game, I was bored out of my mind. This morning we had breakfast and then she went to hang out with her family and Teena. Oh, and then I worked. I also worked Saturday until around 5.
I'm still in DF Hell. I tried some of the visualizations the other day and they all sounded like crap. I tried reading some of the book, but that didn't work for me, either. Oy. *sigh*
What would happen if I needed some reassurance? Shall I tell you? I shall. A big fucking nothing. Somebody call the waaaaaaaambulance, cuz I want it to be all about me at some juncture. Ugh. I need to go to bed, I think.
I can say this, I have lunch with Melody on Thursday, and I'm thrilled about it. I haven't seen her in over a year, and our yearly meeting is overdue! ha. :) This is what I look forward to this week.
It is just me or are all these movies about great teachers helping terrible kids the same as "To Sir, With Love"?
Dawn, 10:12 PM
