Dawn's Digression.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Exhausted
*yawn*
I'm sleepy.
I just got off the phone with Michele after a 4 hour conversation. I'm not kidding. Four hours. Somehow we managed not to completely massacre one another's psyche within that amount of time. She said she looked into having our Civil Union annulled. I just pulled up a State of VT website that said what I thought I knew. One of us would have to live in Vermont. The conversation was actually pretty cool. There are some things that I've needed to talk about, but there isn't anyone that really understands/knows the intricacies of the relationship and me leaving. At least Michele is able to understand my guilt issue. She did the whole 'you did everything you could' thing, which really doesn't help me, but it was nice to talk to someone who knows where I'm coming from with all of that. Michele seems to have turned over a new leaf. I am happy for her. New leaves rock. She actually asked me about Tracy and how things are going. My stomach instantly started hurting in anticipation of what I thought would turn into a nasty conversation. It turned out okay, though. She just wanted to know if I'm happy. I tried to reply with 'fine', but she wasn't having it, so I think I just told her really good. I think. Who can remember details of a four hour conversation? Certainly not me!
Am I intimidating to talk to about God and spirituality? Why do I feel like people avoid the subject with me? I don't think I'm judgmental. I don't think I speak poorly of anyone's belief system. I think religion is completely fascinating.
I had a great Easter. I went to church with Tracy. It was my first time to go there with her, so that was neat. Neat? This is the adjective I come up with? Hmm. It was..... Enlightening. Sweet. Fun. Interesting. A huge compliment. Where I was meant to be today. Enlightening because Tracy doesn't talk about her spirituality with me, so it was good for me to get a picture of what it is that inspires her. Sweet because she asked me to go and share it with her. Fun because the preacher man is pretty funny and the music is groovy. Interesting because it was Easter and there was the obligatory story of Jesus' Resurrection. Only not too much. Surprisingly little, now that I think about it. Hmm. I rescind. Interesting because it is church and, like I said up there, religion is fascinating. The psychology of it all! A compliment because Tracy loves her church and shared with me. (Yes, I know I already said that, but I'm moved by it, so shaddup.) And I was meant to be with my girlfriend today in a place that means so much to her. I belonged with her this morning.
Oh! I met Tracy's aunt. You know how I can't stand new people? She's cool. I didn't feel all creepy and self-conscious as I'm prone to. *whew* The meeting went well. :) For me, anyway! :D
Oh, yeah. Easter good. I went off on a tangent about church. heh
Okay, so after church, I watched TV and slept on the couch. In honor of the holiday, I watched a couple of shows on the National Geographic Channel. I watched something about the phenomena of Stigmata and fell asleep during Science of the Bible. I adore that show. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend. Christians and non-Christians alike. It's pretty factual. At least from what I can tell. I DVR'd Exodus Revealed. Not sure what all is included, but it looks like something about the parting of the Red Sea. So, cool.
Okay, so if you read all that, you might think I'm abandoning my current beliefs or not being true to myself. This is not so. I am enhancing my knowledge base. :) I shall not compromise what I believe to be true. This doesn't mean I can't learn about other truths, does it? I say "No". I must be wicked tired because this entry is getting long.
My point was really just that I went to church, watched TV and took a nap.
Tomorrow is Monday. I hate Mondays. Next weekend, I'm in Oklahoma City with my woman for a bowling tournament. My little Championship Bowler. How whipped could I possibly be? Oh well, there is no shame in love.
I'm sleepy.
I just got off the phone with Michele after a 4 hour conversation. I'm not kidding. Four hours. Somehow we managed not to completely massacre one another's psyche within that amount of time. She said she looked into having our Civil Union annulled. I just pulled up a State of VT website that said what I thought I knew. One of us would have to live in Vermont. The conversation was actually pretty cool. There are some things that I've needed to talk about, but there isn't anyone that really understands/knows the intricacies of the relationship and me leaving. At least Michele is able to understand my guilt issue. She did the whole 'you did everything you could' thing, which really doesn't help me, but it was nice to talk to someone who knows where I'm coming from with all of that. Michele seems to have turned over a new leaf. I am happy for her. New leaves rock. She actually asked me about Tracy and how things are going. My stomach instantly started hurting in anticipation of what I thought would turn into a nasty conversation. It turned out okay, though. She just wanted to know if I'm happy. I tried to reply with 'fine', but she wasn't having it, so I think I just told her really good. I think. Who can remember details of a four hour conversation? Certainly not me!
Am I intimidating to talk to about God and spirituality? Why do I feel like people avoid the subject with me? I don't think I'm judgmental. I don't think I speak poorly of anyone's belief system. I think religion is completely fascinating.
I had a great Easter. I went to church with Tracy. It was my first time to go there with her, so that was neat. Neat? This is the adjective I come up with? Hmm. It was..... Enlightening. Sweet. Fun. Interesting. A huge compliment. Where I was meant to be today. Enlightening because Tracy doesn't talk about her spirituality with me, so it was good for me to get a picture of what it is that inspires her. Sweet because she asked me to go and share it with her. Fun because the preacher man is pretty funny and the music is groovy. Interesting because it was Easter and there was the obligatory story of Jesus' Resurrection. Only not too much. Surprisingly little, now that I think about it. Hmm. I rescind. Interesting because it is church and, like I said up there, religion is fascinating. The psychology of it all! A compliment because Tracy loves her church and shared with me. (Yes, I know I already said that, but I'm moved by it, so shaddup.) And I was meant to be with my girlfriend today in a place that means so much to her. I belonged with her this morning.
Oh! I met Tracy's aunt. You know how I can't stand new people? She's cool. I didn't feel all creepy and self-conscious as I'm prone to. *whew* The meeting went well. :) For me, anyway! :D
Oh, yeah. Easter good. I went off on a tangent about church. heh
Okay, so after church, I watched TV and slept on the couch. In honor of the holiday, I watched a couple of shows on the National Geographic Channel. I watched something about the phenomena of Stigmata and fell asleep during Science of the Bible. I adore that show. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend. Christians and non-Christians alike. It's pretty factual. At least from what I can tell. I DVR'd Exodus Revealed. Not sure what all is included, but it looks like something about the parting of the Red Sea. So, cool.
Okay, so if you read all that, you might think I'm abandoning my current beliefs or not being true to myself. This is not so. I am enhancing my knowledge base. :) I shall not compromise what I believe to be true. This doesn't mean I can't learn about other truths, does it? I say "No". I must be wicked tired because this entry is getting long.
My point was really just that I went to church, watched TV and took a nap.
Tomorrow is Monday. I hate Mondays. Next weekend, I'm in Oklahoma City with my woman for a bowling tournament. My little Championship Bowler. How whipped could I possibly be? Oh well, there is no shame in love.
Dawn, 11:35 PM
