Dawn's Digression.

Unfortunately, Rachel didn't make me feel better this time like she usually does. She didn't make it worse or anything, just not better. She pointed out that I'm having the same problems I had with her. Which means that the problems are likely mine. Why can't someone else be the problem child? There is just something wrong when even your friends are on your spouse's side.

To catch you up, let me just say that I have been a major bitch. Not kinda. Not a little. Major. And I am just ashamed of myself. Disgusted. I want to get as far as I can from myself. Michele has been nothing but kind and gentle to me, but I treat her like shit.

This is why I'm really in counseling. I don't accept my behavior as reasonable. I don't accept my disrespect as allowable. Bullshit. Marriage is about respect and love. That's what I want for myself and for us. I just can't take this anymore. I want out of this skin, out of this mind. Calgon, take me away! Wouldn't that be great if a bath could cure all ills? Man, we'd all be spending a lot of time in the tub, wouldn't we?