Dawn's Digression.
Friday, November 07, 2003
I want a new kitty. I was stupid enough to click on the little petfinder thing on my page, and there are a couple of kitties I really want. Cute babies. And they have a baby bunny, too. I TOTALLY want a baby bunny. The shelter says their bunnies are litter trained! I just love little fuzzy critters. Except Darcee, our dog.
Maybe I'll go to lunch with Rachel. I am poopy AGAIN today. *sigh* Why am I always poopy? I can't decide whether or not I want to talk about it. I do, but I don't. You know? I want to vent and feel better, but I don't want to be pathetic and dramatic. Who wants to read all that stuff? Actually, I enjoy reading that stuff...But that's just me. It does get old after awhile. You usually just want to grab the person by his/her shoulders and yell "Get over it or change something, then!". I am doing something about it, though, as you'll note from the appointment with the counselor on Wednesday. I have another appointment on Monday. My homework was to notice what triggers my angry episodes. Perhaps I should write down somewhere what happened this morning so I can remember it all later. I am so not pleased with myself. I feel like a bad person today. Mostly because I have been a bad person today. A~, my other homework is to go through my journals for the past 15 years and notice what my recurring issues are. We were talking about journaling, and I told him that it is interesting to me that I always write the same thing. It makes no difference if I'm 16 or 29, I'm still the same person. I've just learned how to act in more socially acceptable ways. (I didn't say that part) I swear, I am such a baby sometimes. At least I know what my faults are and really want to change. Many people don't bother to try to change themselves or alter behavior. That really ties back to, "Change something, then!" I want to. I really do.
Maybe I'll go to lunch with Rachel. I am poopy AGAIN today. *sigh* Why am I always poopy? I can't decide whether or not I want to talk about it. I do, but I don't. You know? I want to vent and feel better, but I don't want to be pathetic and dramatic. Who wants to read all that stuff? Actually, I enjoy reading that stuff...But that's just me. It does get old after awhile. You usually just want to grab the person by his/her shoulders and yell "Get over it or change something, then!". I am doing something about it, though, as you'll note from the appointment with the counselor on Wednesday. I have another appointment on Monday. My homework was to notice what triggers my angry episodes. Perhaps I should write down somewhere what happened this morning so I can remember it all later. I am so not pleased with myself. I feel like a bad person today. Mostly because I have been a bad person today. A~, my other homework is to go through my journals for the past 15 years and notice what my recurring issues are. We were talking about journaling, and I told him that it is interesting to me that I always write the same thing. It makes no difference if I'm 16 or 29, I'm still the same person. I've just learned how to act in more socially acceptable ways. (I didn't say that part) I swear, I am such a baby sometimes. At least I know what my faults are and really want to change. Many people don't bother to try to change themselves or alter behavior. That really ties back to, "Change something, then!" I want to. I really do.
Dawn, 12:00 PM
