Dawn's Digression.
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I bought a really cool book yesterday. I'm very excited. 365 Questions for Couples. I am a sucker for books of questions. Here are some of the questions:
Do you believe I know myself well?
What is your favorite thing about my personality?
What, if anything, have you learned from me?
If you could plan a trip for us to anywhere in the world, where would you choose to take us?
We love books of questions. When we were first talking, we tried to end each phone call with a question or two from a book of questions. I know own 6 books of questions. You would think I know everything there is to know about her. But, sadly, I have no memory. I think I had a little too much fun post high school. She often answers my questions, "We've talked about this before." Question: If we talk about it once, does it mean we can never talk about it again? I think I bother her because I talk too much. WAY too much. Basically anyone that knows me well will attest to this. I'm a jabberbox. Not at first. It takes me a long time to get comfortable with someone, but when I do, it's impossible to shut me up. Muffin likes to sit in silence. Well, with the exception of the TV being on. :) A~, we talk about things...just not intimate or 'feeling' things. We talk about who said what. What's on television. That kind of thing. I am one of those people that needs a lot of verbal attention. I don't feel intimacy unless we're sharing. I'm high maintenance, aren't I? I am to a point. I don't ask a lot from her otherwise. I'm not constantly asking for favors. I don't call her all day. I try not to make too many demands on her time...but what I do need is that constant connection. Which is perhaps even more draining.
.....
While I am certainly aware it is healthy for couples to have interests outside one another, should they not have a mutual interest of some kind? To me, they should. And my guess is that what is really at the bottom of all this is my insecurity and selfishness. I have to say, however, that I do not feel all that insecure in this relationship. I know I am loved, and I don't worry about her ever straying. I know my woman is whipped. And I know, too, that she needs these things in her life....all the meetings, etc. She's a middle child, and as such, needs recognition. It's good for her soul. But my little soul gets all lonely at times.
I'm going to try to get out there some more. I've got the soccer on Friday nights. That helps. I need to find things to take up more of my time, though. I've been wanting to attend a Sierra Club meeting, but I really want someone to go with me. I'm just not one to do things like that alone. I have attended one of their meetings alone before, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to while I'm there since I'm too shy to approach people.
Goodness. I'm whiney today!
On another note....
We were able to sleep last night. Peanut walked around the house and cried for awhile. My guess is she either missed Rachel's girlfriend or she wanted outside. Muriel threw half of their cage bedding out the front door of their cage. We've given up putting it back in, and now we just throw it away. We'll see how she likes it when there is no bedding in there. Poor Martha just has to put up with it.
Do you believe I know myself well?
What is your favorite thing about my personality?
What, if anything, have you learned from me?
If you could plan a trip for us to anywhere in the world, where would you choose to take us?
We love books of questions. When we were first talking, we tried to end each phone call with a question or two from a book of questions. I know own 6 books of questions. You would think I know everything there is to know about her. But, sadly, I have no memory. I think I had a little too much fun post high school. She often answers my questions, "We've talked about this before." Question: If we talk about it once, does it mean we can never talk about it again? I think I bother her because I talk too much. WAY too much. Basically anyone that knows me well will attest to this. I'm a jabberbox. Not at first. It takes me a long time to get comfortable with someone, but when I do, it's impossible to shut me up. Muffin likes to sit in silence. Well, with the exception of the TV being on. :) A~, we talk about things...just not intimate or 'feeling' things. We talk about who said what. What's on television. That kind of thing. I am one of those people that needs a lot of verbal attention. I don't feel intimacy unless we're sharing. I'm high maintenance, aren't I? I am to a point. I don't ask a lot from her otherwise. I'm not constantly asking for favors. I don't call her all day. I try not to make too many demands on her time...but what I do need is that constant connection. Which is perhaps even more draining.
.....
While I am certainly aware it is healthy for couples to have interests outside one another, should they not have a mutual interest of some kind? To me, they should. And my guess is that what is really at the bottom of all this is my insecurity and selfishness. I have to say, however, that I do not feel all that insecure in this relationship. I know I am loved, and I don't worry about her ever straying. I know my woman is whipped. And I know, too, that she needs these things in her life....all the meetings, etc. She's a middle child, and as such, needs recognition. It's good for her soul. But my little soul gets all lonely at times.
I'm going to try to get out there some more. I've got the soccer on Friday nights. That helps. I need to find things to take up more of my time, though. I've been wanting to attend a Sierra Club meeting, but I really want someone to go with me. I'm just not one to do things like that alone. I have attended one of their meetings alone before, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to while I'm there since I'm too shy to approach people.
Goodness. I'm whiney today!
On another note....
We were able to sleep last night. Peanut walked around the house and cried for awhile. My guess is she either missed Rachel's girlfriend or she wanted outside. Muriel threw half of their cage bedding out the front door of their cage. We've given up putting it back in, and now we just throw it away. We'll see how she likes it when there is no bedding in there. Poor Martha just has to put up with it.
Dawn, 3:20 PM
