Dawn's Digression.

Have you read the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath? If not, READ IT. It's awesome. And if you know of any other books like that one, please recommend it to me. I suppose I could be reading non-fiction in order to grow some more brain cells or something, but gosh, doesn't that sound boring? I say yes, indeed!

Sometimes I hit myself in the head. I get frustrated, ball up my fist and hit myself in the head. I don't usually leave any marks, but every now and then I will touch my head and be all "Ouch!" I've used such itmes as telephones and skillets as well. I used to hit people when I was upset. Now I just hit myself. And don't worry, I'm not like sitting here banging my head with a baseball bat. I'm just typing. It just feels good to tell someone that I do that. When I get that frustrated and angry, I just want to feel something else. Just like the reason why people say they cut. I understand that. As long as you are cutting, you don't feel the emotional pain because you are obsessed with watching the razor blade cutting through the skin and wondering how much you can do, how far you can go. And being amazed that you are in fact cutting yourself. And for some insane reason, it feels strong. (Go ahead, check my arms next time you see me -- nothing. I said I was just sayin', for Pete's sake! ) If there are any scars you want to see, I'll show you. It'll be a short show.