Dawn's Digression.

Thursday, October 17, 2002

I used to have rats. They were wonderful. Or at least the first one was. He was so loving. I named him Ralphie after Ralph S. Mouse, the Beverly Cleary book. He was gray and everything. Ralphie used to grit his teeth when I would pet him behind his ears. He was kinda funny, too. One time he bit the cat. And you've have to know the cat he bit. It was LeChat. LeChat was a 25 pound black cat. Sweet as pie. I had Ralphie out on the bed, and Chat jumped up there. Chat never bothered Ralphie, but for some reason, Ralphie was unhappy with Chat right that minute and he bit him. Chat just looked kinda confused and got up. I was startled. Ralphie went back in his cage for the rest of the day.
I'm disgruntled today. I need to get an additional job. It's too whiney for me to really talk about, but I'm all kinds of frustrated. *pout*
I've been sleeping quite well the last few weeks. Except for last night. I just couldn't sleep at all. I just kept thinking. I feel like I am in a race. Every time I try to catch up, another hurdle presents itself and slows me down. Each hurdle just frustrates me so very much. If only I could at least get a running start before one of those snuck on me, I would be more satisfied. Even worse, I feel I'm running alone. There isn't anyone to relay to. Because I put the obstacles in place myself.
Three weeks ago, I was blissful. The last couple of weeks I've been nothing but negative and grumpy. It is annoying. And I feel especially sorry for Michele. The poor thing has no idea what has hit her. I just keep telling her I'm tired. I think if I try to explain it to her, she won't understand this, so I just let it go. This is one of those days when I ask myself if I will ever truly be satisfied.
Oy.
Dawn, 10:27 AM

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