Dawn's Digression.
Monday, November 28, 2005
You Know What Else?
I will NOT be hurt again. I pity the fool who thinks they can/will hurt me. Bring it the fuck on. I am now a strong, independent woman, and I know who I can count on. That would be NO ONE except my parents. Strength in knowledge. I know there isn't much I can do without. Yes, this is not the best way to live, but right now, it is mine.
No one will fuck me over like that again. NO ONE. If I have to be alone forever and be a single mother because I am all I can count on, FINE. Learning what I have about people is enough to tell me I shouldn't expect more.
Where is the one person who showed up at my door and said, "Dawn, you are not okay, let me take care of you."? That's right. It sure as hell wasn't you. Wasn't even my parents. I don't know if I'm okay or not, but it would be nice if I had the option not to be. Where is my crutch? I honestly don't know if I'm asking too much.
This whole needy thing is fine for tonight, but tomorrow it cannot be here. Because I have to get up in the morning and take care of fucking everything around here, including myself. No matter how tired I am, no matter how badly I want to stay in bed FOREVER, I have to get up.
Somehow I have to get up every morning and exist, but the person I should have been able to count on didn't have to get up and do anything. Apparently.
No one will fuck me over like that again. NO ONE. If I have to be alone forever and be a single mother because I am all I can count on, FINE. Learning what I have about people is enough to tell me I shouldn't expect more.
Where is the one person who showed up at my door and said, "Dawn, you are not okay, let me take care of you."? That's right. It sure as hell wasn't you. Wasn't even my parents. I don't know if I'm okay or not, but it would be nice if I had the option not to be. Where is my crutch? I honestly don't know if I'm asking too much.
This whole needy thing is fine for tonight, but tomorrow it cannot be here. Because I have to get up in the morning and take care of fucking everything around here, including myself. No matter how tired I am, no matter how badly I want to stay in bed FOREVER, I have to get up.
Somehow I have to get up every morning and exist, but the person I should have been able to count on didn't have to get up and do anything. Apparently.
Dawn, 10:14 PM
