Dawn's Digression.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Why study when you can blog?
I have a final on Tuesday. I tried to study earlier today, but I feel asleep, as I often do when I read textbooks. I seriously don''t know what has become of my motivation. The fact that I still have 2 years left has somewhat injured my spirit. I tell you what, you really pay for the mistakes of your youth. The good thing is that I screwed up stuff while I was still young. I've known folks who live this ''perfect'' life until age 30, and then loose everything and have to start over. At least it doesn''t seem like that will happen to me. Having said that, I just remembered I haven''t taken my medicine in 3 days. I think I'll go get it....
I have no nail polish remover. This wouldn''t be so bad except I have a big meeting tomorrow and I attempted to give myself a French manicure last night. I've seen worse, but not much. Actually, I suppose from a distance my nails aren''t so bad. Perhaps no one will notice.
Anyway, as I was saying... Sometimes when I'm driving home from work and I see people under the bridge, I am reminded how easy one can slip into that lifestyle. A choice here, a choice there, and suddenly, no more choices. Only addictions and ramifications. Everyone makes bad choices sometimes. I always say that what really matters is how you recover from what you've done. It says something about and builds character to dig yourself out from under a rock.
I get scared sometimes, though, because there are days I cannot will myself off the couch or out of my pajamas. There are days where my mind goes ninety to nothing and won't stop. There are days where I feel over-extended and days where I just want to shop all day. I make myself nuts!
I have a friend who told me she doesn't understand alcoholism and how it isn't a choice. Two years ago, I would have agreed with her. Everything is relative. It's about who you know and what you have experienced in your life. If I didn''t know any alcoholics, I wouldn't understand. I think the people who are incredibly judgemental need to take a look around at the people they know and love. You just don't know who is sitting next to you and what he/she has been through. I just lost%2
I have no nail polish remover. This wouldn''t be so bad except I have a big meeting tomorrow and I attempted to give myself a French manicure last night. I've seen worse, but not much. Actually, I suppose from a distance my nails aren''t so bad. Perhaps no one will notice.
Anyway, as I was saying... Sometimes when I'm driving home from work and I see people under the bridge, I am reminded how easy one can slip into that lifestyle. A choice here, a choice there, and suddenly, no more choices. Only addictions and ramifications. Everyone makes bad choices sometimes. I always say that what really matters is how you recover from what you've done. It says something about and builds character to dig yourself out from under a rock.
I get scared sometimes, though, because there are days I cannot will myself off the couch or out of my pajamas. There are days where my mind goes ninety to nothing and won't stop. There are days where I feel over-extended and days where I just want to shop all day. I make myself nuts!
I have a friend who told me she doesn't understand alcoholism and how it isn't a choice. Two years ago, I would have agreed with her. Everything is relative. It's about who you know and what you have experienced in your life. If I didn''t know any alcoholics, I wouldn't understand. I think the people who are incredibly judgemental need to take a look around at the people they know and love. You just don't know who is sitting next to you and what he/she has been through. I just lost%2
Dawn, 6:01 PM
