Dawn's Digression.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I like QAF because it makes me laugh. Gay boys are amusing. Lesbians are just dramatic. Not that boys aren't dramatic. Quite the drama queens. But at least they make me laugh. Not once has The L Word made me laugh.
I don't mind porn. See, with porn, you know what it is. You're watching it because that is what you want to see. I don't always want to see that kind of thing. (Especially now that Prozac has completely massacred my sex drive.) I guess I just never realized how much people actually have sex. If these shows are, in fact, somewhat representative.
I've gone around and around with the pill issue. People that have known me for awhile are pretty much aware with how I struggled with medication. I have been depressed off and on for at least 15 years now. (Oh my gosh, it is actually more than that!) I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself and sick of wanting to die. So now I take my happy pills. And they help. Mostly. I don't believe the pills are a long term solution. At least I don't want them to be. The alternative of attempting suicide again does not appeal to me. I do agree, though, that physician's diagnose and prescribe much too quickly. The psychiatrist talks to me about 10 minutes each time I go. I have no idea how he thinks that is enough time to know what is best for me. Thankfully, I have my therapist who can gauge as well. I think medication without treatment is not all that helpful. Okay, it's helpful, but it isn't working on a solution to the problem. It's just masking it.
Okay, so I was thinking the other day. People complain about the price of gas all the time. I have thoughts on this. Some of these people who complain are the same folks who drive SUVs and drink Starbucks. So, let me get this straight -- you will drive a vehicle that eats gas, and pay $5 for a cup of coffee, but dammit! you're upset about that extra buck-fifty per fill up. Is this accurate? And then there are people like me. I pay for HBO and Showtime. I have a health club membership I have used once. I bought an MP3 player on a whim. Yeah, I think I'm done complaining about the price of gas. Really, if you do the math, it doesn't hurt you all that much. Last I heard (this is extremely outdated information, and I am not saying it is accurate right now), the US has cheaper gas than any other country. Anyway, I was just thinking we should shut the fuck up already about the price of gas. *shrug* I'm not telling you to shut up about it, necessarily. I just think I will. It's goofy.
Friday I had my gimpy eyeball appointment again. Still not a darn thing wrong, they say. If I continue to have problems I should see my PCP and perhaps get a referral to a neurologist. *rolls eyes* WTFever, man. I haven't had issues in a couple of weeks, and my arm hasn't been falling asleep, so I'm just going to wait until something happens again. I'm sure it's nothing. Or psychosomatic. One of those.
Did I ever tell you guys about Michele spraining her ankle and me finally winning a game of racquetball back in January? Well, she still is not better. Yesterday she went to the ..uh... bone doctor. (heh. Such technical terms!) Her leg is still swollen and it still wakes her up in the middle of the night. A~, she has to go in today for a ultrasound on her leg to check for blood clots. The doctor was not impressed with the way her injury was handled, and said they should have given her a stocking to wear immediately following the accident. They said if there are blood clots, they are going to admit her today. Honestly, I'm not thinking that will happen. The odds are slim.
I went to Hobby Lobby on Friday and spent only $3. Can you believe it? I can't! I bought a little door hanger thingie for the front door since I had to return the wreath I bought at Garden Ridge. (The space between our front door and screen door is too narrow for a wreath. ) I did go to the mall after that and buy Lucky Bamboo for her office and home. Yet I still have no Lucky Bamboo at work. That makes no sense. Then I went home and did yard work. I filled 5 of those huge compost bags full of leaves. That was just the front and side yards! I have yet to do the backyard. I did finish the little rock area by the spigot, though. Saturday, when I went to Garden Ridge to return the wreath, I spent only $2! Can you believe the self control? It was amazing.
And then there was Sunday. I went to Wal-Mart to do the weekly grocery shopping. Our list was really short. The bill should have been, say, $50. I spent $106. On what, you ask? Well, you see, I went into the garden center. They had herbs. And jalepeno plants. So, I bought rosemary, peppermint, lemon balm, and two jalepeno plants. Then I needed dirt. And a couple of pots. I carried around some purple coneflower for awhile, and then put it back because I had some wildflower mix in my hands I was planning to sow. I ended up putting away the wildflower mix. I think I'm going to go to Garden Ridge, though and get one of those barrel planters. They have the barrel planters that weigh like a quarter as much as the 'real' ones for 14 bucks, and I can plant wildflowers in there and move it around as necessary. Now I need more dirt. I always do this in Spring. I plant all kinds of stuff I can kill in July. Oy.
The softball league needs a scorekeeper. Games are Sundays from 2:30 - 6:30 (4 games, 1 hr each), and it pays $10 a game. If you live in this area, please save me from having to scorekeep every Sunday this year. You would be surrounded by at least 200 lesbians every Sunday. Pleeeeeese.
I have a new weird pain in my abdomen. It's been 6 days. It's a dull pain, except when I sneeze. (psychosomatic?)
Our washer is being weird. It is leaking water from somewhere, and this morning Michele noticed our living room carpet was wet in a spot. This is no good. No good, indeed.
I don't mind porn. See, with porn, you know what it is. You're watching it because that is what you want to see. I don't always want to see that kind of thing. (Especially now that Prozac has completely massacred my sex drive.) I guess I just never realized how much people actually have sex. If these shows are, in fact, somewhat representative.
I've gone around and around with the pill issue. People that have known me for awhile are pretty much aware with how I struggled with medication. I have been depressed off and on for at least 15 years now. (Oh my gosh, it is actually more than that!) I'm sick of it. I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself and sick of wanting to die. So now I take my happy pills. And they help. Mostly. I don't believe the pills are a long term solution. At least I don't want them to be. The alternative of attempting suicide again does not appeal to me. I do agree, though, that physician's diagnose and prescribe much too quickly. The psychiatrist talks to me about 10 minutes each time I go. I have no idea how he thinks that is enough time to know what is best for me. Thankfully, I have my therapist who can gauge as well. I think medication without treatment is not all that helpful. Okay, it's helpful, but it isn't working on a solution to the problem. It's just masking it.
Okay, so I was thinking the other day. People complain about the price of gas all the time. I have thoughts on this. Some of these people who complain are the same folks who drive SUVs and drink Starbucks. So, let me get this straight -- you will drive a vehicle that eats gas, and pay $5 for a cup of coffee, but dammit! you're upset about that extra buck-fifty per fill up. Is this accurate? And then there are people like me. I pay for HBO and Showtime. I have a health club membership I have used once. I bought an MP3 player on a whim. Yeah, I think I'm done complaining about the price of gas. Really, if you do the math, it doesn't hurt you all that much. Last I heard (this is extremely outdated information, and I am not saying it is accurate right now), the US has cheaper gas than any other country. Anyway, I was just thinking we should shut the fuck up already about the price of gas. *shrug* I'm not telling you to shut up about it, necessarily. I just think I will. It's goofy.
Friday I had my gimpy eyeball appointment again. Still not a darn thing wrong, they say. If I continue to have problems I should see my PCP and perhaps get a referral to a neurologist. *rolls eyes* WTFever, man. I haven't had issues in a couple of weeks, and my arm hasn't been falling asleep, so I'm just going to wait until something happens again. I'm sure it's nothing. Or psychosomatic. One of those.
Did I ever tell you guys about Michele spraining her ankle and me finally winning a game of racquetball back in January? Well, she still is not better. Yesterday she went to the ..uh... bone doctor. (heh. Such technical terms!) Her leg is still swollen and it still wakes her up in the middle of the night. A~, she has to go in today for a ultrasound on her leg to check for blood clots. The doctor was not impressed with the way her injury was handled, and said they should have given her a stocking to wear immediately following the accident. They said if there are blood clots, they are going to admit her today. Honestly, I'm not thinking that will happen. The odds are slim.
I went to Hobby Lobby on Friday and spent only $3. Can you believe it? I can't! I bought a little door hanger thingie for the front door since I had to return the wreath I bought at Garden Ridge. (The space between our front door and screen door is too narrow for a wreath. ) I did go to the mall after that and buy Lucky Bamboo for her office and home. Yet I still have no Lucky Bamboo at work. That makes no sense. Then I went home and did yard work. I filled 5 of those huge compost bags full of leaves. That was just the front and side yards! I have yet to do the backyard. I did finish the little rock area by the spigot, though. Saturday, when I went to Garden Ridge to return the wreath, I spent only $2! Can you believe the self control? It was amazing.
And then there was Sunday. I went to Wal-Mart to do the weekly grocery shopping. Our list was really short. The bill should have been, say, $50. I spent $106. On what, you ask? Well, you see, I went into the garden center. They had herbs. And jalepeno plants. So, I bought rosemary, peppermint, lemon balm, and two jalepeno plants. Then I needed dirt. And a couple of pots. I carried around some purple coneflower for awhile, and then put it back because I had some wildflower mix in my hands I was planning to sow. I ended up putting away the wildflower mix. I think I'm going to go to Garden Ridge, though and get one of those barrel planters. They have the barrel planters that weigh like a quarter as much as the 'real' ones for 14 bucks, and I can plant wildflowers in there and move it around as necessary. Now I need more dirt. I always do this in Spring. I plant all kinds of stuff I can kill in July. Oy.
The softball league needs a scorekeeper. Games are Sundays from 2:30 - 6:30 (4 games, 1 hr each), and it pays $10 a game. If you live in this area, please save me from having to scorekeep every Sunday this year. You would be surrounded by at least 200 lesbians every Sunday. Pleeeeeese.
I have a new weird pain in my abdomen. It's been 6 days. It's a dull pain, except when I sneeze. (psychosomatic?)
Our washer is being weird. It is leaking water from somewhere, and this morning Michele noticed our living room carpet was wet in a spot. This is no good. No good, indeed.
Dawn, 9:39 AM
