Dawn's Digression.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Okay, I actually like the lime cilantro rice. The chicken is dry and grody. But the rice, this is good.
I'm hungry 24-7. Still. And you know, this would be alarming if it were any other time in my life. And I'd feel guilty. And then I'd go eat a pint of ice cream. But right now, I'm a little more than alarmed. I come home from work, snack on cake (birthday or shower), eat dinner, then I eat AGAIN before bed. Last night, it was ice cream. What the hell? Do I want to completely pork up? No, no I don't. I do, however, want to eat. And I want to eat a lot. Last week a friend and I went to Chipotle. I ate the whole burrito. And an order of chips. I have no shame. And Chulie won 319 M&M's at the shower and left them. Guess who has them? Guess what's almost gone? Holy Mother of God, I will be a piece of work when we get me knocked up. It will be ugly.
My mom gave me some pressure on Saturday about wanting a little baby. We were discussing how we have a baby shower to attend at the end of the month and Mom gave me a look and asked when she was getting a grandbaby. Say WHAT? Dude. She just got Alex out of the house two weeks ago, and I'm already getting pressure. I told her to give me a bit of time...The wedding hasn't even happened, yet, although we do have the house, now. Of course, I'm already wondering what the heck we'd do with the stuff in the 'exercise room' if we had a kid. That treadmill and exercise bike is big. That's too much thought. I'm not sure I'm ready for another mouth to feed right now. But they also say if you wait until you are absolutely ready, you'll never have them. And I want a family. Otherwise, life seems a bit pointless. For me, not for everyone.
I'm hungry 24-7. Still. And you know, this would be alarming if it were any other time in my life. And I'd feel guilty. And then I'd go eat a pint of ice cream. But right now, I'm a little more than alarmed. I come home from work, snack on cake (birthday or shower), eat dinner, then I eat AGAIN before bed. Last night, it was ice cream. What the hell? Do I want to completely pork up? No, no I don't. I do, however, want to eat. And I want to eat a lot. Last week a friend and I went to Chipotle. I ate the whole burrito. And an order of chips. I have no shame. And Chulie won 319 M&M's at the shower and left them. Guess who has them? Guess what's almost gone? Holy Mother of God, I will be a piece of work when we get me knocked up. It will be ugly.
My mom gave me some pressure on Saturday about wanting a little baby. We were discussing how we have a baby shower to attend at the end of the month and Mom gave me a look and asked when she was getting a grandbaby. Say WHAT? Dude. She just got Alex out of the house two weeks ago, and I'm already getting pressure. I told her to give me a bit of time...The wedding hasn't even happened, yet, although we do have the house, now. Of course, I'm already wondering what the heck we'd do with the stuff in the 'exercise room' if we had a kid. That treadmill and exercise bike is big. That's too much thought. I'm not sure I'm ready for another mouth to feed right now. But they also say if you wait until you are absolutely ready, you'll never have them. And I want a family. Otherwise, life seems a bit pointless. For me, not for everyone.
Dawn, 12:46 PM
