Dawn's Digression.

My girlfriend, the commissioner of the lesbian softball league here in Dallas, has a column in the Dallas Voice this week. They put her picture in and everything. I have to say, they've made her sound pretty impressive. I suddenly feel a little inadequate. Am I the woman behind the woman? The wizard behind the curtain? I'd take either, but then it sounds like she isn't able to do it alone. But she has been and certainly can. She's a strong woman, my commissioner is. I find it a mystery.
I've never dated someone with quite as much ambition as she has, and it annoys me as much as it impresses me. I am not ambitious. This weekend I was watching an interview my best friend did of me when I was fifteen, and she asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Me: A person. Her: Okay. But what do you want from life? Me: Nothing.
Is that not a pathetic display of intent? It is. How I've ended up with someone like The Commissioner I'll never know. It seems to me she would find my lack of drive beneath her. Or maybe I keep her grounded. I like to think of it that way. And while I'm keeping her grounded, she's keeping me from being a complete loser. Ah, symbiosis in its highest form. Actually, I don't like calling it grounded. It makes her sound either stuck up or like a yuppie. She just has a little more appreciation for money and aquisitions than I do. I suppose the fact that we are so different is why it works. If that makes any sense.


The Walt Whitman Community School is having their prom soon. They are looking for chaperones and committee members. They are having their first meeting tonight and I'm thinking about going. It's not a definite plan yet. For one thing, I don't really understand my motive in being interested. What's my angle? I've never really been interested in the young gay community. Or really even in the gay community. (Shame on me, I know) Really, I just want to meet some people. I want to be known. This is a new desire for me. I've never cared who knew me. Or who I knew. Part of it is, of course, that I still think about being a teacher. It's one of the few things I've consistently wanted throughout my life. Everybody knows the best way to get a job is to know someone. You can have skills all day long, but if someone comes along that is a friend of someone there, you're not getting the job. Not that I'm even qualified to BE a teacher...but you never know! hehe Another reason I'm not sure about the meeting tonight is that I am dead tired again. It has been several nights since I spent quality time with the couch. AND, I'm having a bad hair day. I don't feel like trying to make it any kind of presentable to strangers. It's a ponytail day.


I'm getting my wisdom teeth extracted next week. Oy. Gee whiz, I am excited. NOT. The good news is I get to be pathetic for a couple of days, and The Commissioner is required to take care of me since I went out of my way for her when she had hers taken out. Once again proof that I am not altruistic. I even remember telling her something about not minding doing it for her, because one day she would get to return the favor. I don't remember what she said, but I think it was something like, "Um, nevermind." Didn't work. So anyway, I guess I better get my butt back to the library and check out some books.


Oh, my Curve back issues came in yesterday. It was the Indigo Girls back issues. I'm excited. Just what I need. More crap lying around the house. I need to get a box or something to put my IG stuff in. Or even better yet, I could actually organize it! Nah...that'd be MUCH too easy! Actually, no it wouldn't. That wouldn't be easy at all.