Dawn's Digression.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Fill It Up Again, It's Worth The Rocky Ride
I think I've found all the pictures for my collage. I finished going through the magazines tonight and feel pretty good about what I have. I bought my poster board last week, so I reckon I'm ready to go. I think I will spend tomorrow night cutting and pasting.
I cannot tell you how excited I am about having no plans this week. I have happy hour on Thursday with Tonya and Tracy, but that shouldn't be an all night thing, so no biggie. Ahhh...Boredom. Yes, please. I don't really have plans this weekend, either, and once again, I'm down with that. I don't suppose I've mentioned how tired and unrested I feel, have I?
One of the things I want to do this week is NOT take the computer to bed. This is actually very difficult for me. I sleep with the laptop in bed with me. I'd also like to get up on time every day this week and catch up on some things that should have been taken care of a long time ago.
I am finding myself having very little patience with people. It seems like some people don't want to create a better life for themselves, and I don't get it. I guess I'm self-righteous these days. Not towards everyone. I'm not saying that. Every now and then someone will say something to me and I just wonder what it is in that person that keeps them from wanting more for his/her self. If you're not happy about something, change it for crying out loud. Yes, change sucks. Lordy. There is nothing in my life that resembles anything from the past. (Well, I have the same cats. And Ruby and Rachel are still my friends. ;) heh. You know what I mean, though, right? ) Why so complacent? If it ain't broke, I'm a big fan of not fixing it. If it's broke, change it and move the hell on. Life is short. I don't intend to spend any more of it being unhappy than I have to.
I think I'm crabby. Think? Angry much? :D
Saw Michele at a birthday party over the weekend. *sigh* I feel that she needs me to be there for her and needs friendship, but I can't do it. There is nothing I can do for her. She is going to have to do this herself, and I can't imagine how lonely that must feel. I'm glad that she is seeking religion. I know spirituality helps people through hard times. It kills me to see her unhappy. I keep wanting to do things for her and help her out and I have to remind myself that it isn't my place.
I'm not much of a giver...I am emotionally draining. (duh) I do think about other folks more than I should sometimes. I have issues saying 'no'. I'm always afraid I will disappoint someone, which......*lightbulb* .... Reeks of insecurity and low self-esteem. Perhaps I think someone would like me less or think less of me if I said, 'no'. Great. One more thing to put on my list of crap to work on. ......I can't stand for people to do things for me. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like favors and gifts have a tendency to make me squirm. A~, I'm saying all of this because it ties in to what I'm talking about with Michele up there. I can't do anything. My hands are tied. To give to her would be to take from myself, and I am no longer willing.
Anyhoo, my opinion this evening is that when someone or a situation has taken more than you have to give, you need to "Fill It Up Again". And to kill with multiple IG quotes, "The prize is always worth the rocky ride."
I shall end with a gratuitous Indigo Girls lyric. :)
Fill It Up Again, Emily
Won't have you see me as your sad sack
Lost my something and I can't get it back
Or a kill on your trophy rack
I checked my schedule now my train is rolling down a track
...
You've been the hole in my sky
You're my shrinking water supply
Before my well runs dry
I'm going round round round the bend
Fill it up again
...
I gathered up the courage that it took
Made that bed I took one last look
And you could hear the pages flapping
In the wind blown book of my days
You've been the hole in my sky
You're my shrinking water supply
Before my well runs dry
I'm going round round round the bend
Fill it up again
I cannot tell you how excited I am about having no plans this week. I have happy hour on Thursday with Tonya and Tracy, but that shouldn't be an all night thing, so no biggie. Ahhh...Boredom. Yes, please. I don't really have plans this weekend, either, and once again, I'm down with that. I don't suppose I've mentioned how tired and unrested I feel, have I?
One of the things I want to do this week is NOT take the computer to bed. This is actually very difficult for me. I sleep with the laptop in bed with me. I'd also like to get up on time every day this week and catch up on some things that should have been taken care of a long time ago.
I am finding myself having very little patience with people. It seems like some people don't want to create a better life for themselves, and I don't get it. I guess I'm self-righteous these days. Not towards everyone. I'm not saying that. Every now and then someone will say something to me and I just wonder what it is in that person that keeps them from wanting more for his/her self. If you're not happy about something, change it for crying out loud. Yes, change sucks. Lordy. There is nothing in my life that resembles anything from the past. (Well, I have the same cats. And Ruby and Rachel are still my friends. ;) heh. You know what I mean, though, right? ) Why so complacent? If it ain't broke, I'm a big fan of not fixing it. If it's broke, change it and move the hell on. Life is short. I don't intend to spend any more of it being unhappy than I have to.
I think I'm crabby. Think? Angry much? :D
Saw Michele at a birthday party over the weekend. *sigh* I feel that she needs me to be there for her and needs friendship, but I can't do it. There is nothing I can do for her. She is going to have to do this herself, and I can't imagine how lonely that must feel. I'm glad that she is seeking religion. I know spirituality helps people through hard times. It kills me to see her unhappy. I keep wanting to do things for her and help her out and I have to remind myself that it isn't my place.
I'm not much of a giver...I am emotionally draining. (duh) I do think about other folks more than I should sometimes. I have issues saying 'no'. I'm always afraid I will disappoint someone, which......*lightbulb* .... Reeks of insecurity and low self-esteem. Perhaps I think someone would like me less or think less of me if I said, 'no'. Great. One more thing to put on my list of crap to work on. ......I can't stand for people to do things for me. It makes me uncomfortable. I don't like favors and gifts have a tendency to make me squirm. A~, I'm saying all of this because it ties in to what I'm talking about with Michele up there. I can't do anything. My hands are tied. To give to her would be to take from myself, and I am no longer willing.
Anyhoo, my opinion this evening is that when someone or a situation has taken more than you have to give, you need to "Fill It Up Again". And to kill with multiple IG quotes, "The prize is always worth the rocky ride."
I shall end with a gratuitous Indigo Girls lyric. :)
Fill It Up Again, Emily
Won't have you see me as your sad sack
Lost my something and I can't get it back
Or a kill on your trophy rack
I checked my schedule now my train is rolling down a track
...
You've been the hole in my sky
You're my shrinking water supply
Before my well runs dry
I'm going round round round the bend
Fill it up again
...
I gathered up the courage that it took
Made that bed I took one last look
And you could hear the pages flapping
In the wind blown book of my days
You've been the hole in my sky
You're my shrinking water supply
Before my well runs dry
I'm going round round round the bend
Fill it up again
Dawn, 10:29 PM
