Dawn's Digression.
Monday, February 20, 2006
In Da Head
I am so in my head tonight. Ugh. Oy. And of course, now that I've opened the Blogger window, I have no recollection what I was thinking of.
Maybe I was going to type about my rare desire to listen to Marilyn Manson this evening. Maybe I was thinking how I filled out one of those surveys that asked "Have you ever used someone" and I said, "Not on purpose" and then I realized that was a lie and felt bad. Maybe I was thinking about how strange it was that I like Manson's song "User Friendly" when this is not at all how my mind works.
Perhaps one of these topics is the ex. Gosh. I have such a hard time blogging about that whole thing. It just sucks, any way you slice it. She called me last night. Each time the phone rings and her number comes up, I just know there is a bucketload of drama on the other end of the line. She kills me. One very large part of me wants to be friends with her, but I just don't know if I can do it. I remember, too often, some of the stuff that happened. I'm sure things will be fine eventually. Eventually. Last night she wanted to know if I am seeing anyone. After I told her yes, she needed to know who and then how long. *sigh* I tried to deter her with the whole "This isn't a healthy topic..." line, but she wasn't biting. I am thinking though, that her knowing that I am seeing someone else means that I am moving on. She needs that. She needs to forgive herself for what she perceives she has done wrong and go on and live her life. I can say that she called me today without there being any crapola. That was refreshing.
Maybe I was gonna complain that my cat peed on something. Stupid cheap cat. I'm gonna smack her up. And I know it was her and not him. I just know.
I'm stoked that Tracy is going to a party with me on Saturday. Yay! Subjection to some of my people! Granted, it isn't my family or anything, but still. Yay.
I've failed to mention there may be two new readers in the house. If so, HELLO Gayle and Julie! Yay! Gayle gets major props because we're going skating on Thursday. At last! A grown up to skate with. Someone else that isn't afraid of making an ass of herself. haha
I know I have more, but I need to get myself to bed.
Maybe I was going to type about my rare desire to listen to Marilyn Manson this evening. Maybe I was thinking how I filled out one of those surveys that asked "Have you ever used someone" and I said, "Not on purpose" and then I realized that was a lie and felt bad. Maybe I was thinking about how strange it was that I like Manson's song "User Friendly" when this is not at all how my mind works.
Perhaps one of these topics is the ex. Gosh. I have such a hard time blogging about that whole thing. It just sucks, any way you slice it. She called me last night. Each time the phone rings and her number comes up, I just know there is a bucketload of drama on the other end of the line. She kills me. One very large part of me wants to be friends with her, but I just don't know if I can do it. I remember, too often, some of the stuff that happened. I'm sure things will be fine eventually. Eventually. Last night she wanted to know if I am seeing anyone. After I told her yes, she needed to know who and then how long. *sigh* I tried to deter her with the whole "This isn't a healthy topic..." line, but she wasn't biting. I am thinking though, that her knowing that I am seeing someone else means that I am moving on. She needs that. She needs to forgive herself for what she perceives she has done wrong and go on and live her life. I can say that she called me today without there being any crapola. That was refreshing.
Maybe I was gonna complain that my cat peed on something. Stupid cheap cat. I'm gonna smack her up. And I know it was her and not him. I just know.
I'm stoked that Tracy is going to a party with me on Saturday. Yay! Subjection to some of my people! Granted, it isn't my family or anything, but still. Yay.
I've failed to mention there may be two new readers in the house. If so, HELLO Gayle and Julie! Yay! Gayle gets major props because we're going skating on Thursday. At last! A grown up to skate with. Someone else that isn't afraid of making an ass of herself. haha
I know I have more, but I need to get myself to bed.
Dawn, 10:15 PM
