Dawn's Digression.
Monday, December 26, 2005
Christmas Didn't Suck
I don’t remember Christmas last year. I remember Michele and I went to Mom’s. I remember Shelley and I went to Michele’s for Christmas dinner. But what strikes me most is that I don’t remember much else. This is only important because I want to say that for the first time in a very long time, I didn’t cry on Christmas.
I don’t know how many Christmas nights I cried. I honestly don’t.
OMG, I just remembered that Christmas was the day Michele and I celebrated our anniversary. I didn’t think about that even once today. Didn’t cross my mind. I am surely going to hell. God, how could I not remember Christmas was our anniversary? That’s sad. I called Mich today to wish her a Merry Christmas and she was a total butt. All I could feel is relief that I didn’t have to deal with whatever mood she is in. (Except missing my babies, that is.)
At any rate… I’ve spent a lot of holiday nights alone after Michele had passed out. I remember calling Rachel one Christmas at 8pm and crying because Michele was already sleeping. New Year’s Eve is pretty much the same story. Valentine’s Day. Thanksgiving. The nice thing about this is that now I am incredibly thankful for holidays that don’t make me cry. I’m pretty simple at this point.
Anyhoo, Christmas Eve/Day was pretty nice. Christmas Eve was spent with my family, as usual. I ended up staying up late with Alex. We were going through his music files and making lists of music to download. I spent the night with my parents. I woke up to hearing my parents talking in the kitchen. Santa left me a stocking. I had a Starbucks gift card, Starburst, fruit, hot chocolate, etc. Mom, Dad, Alex and I went to have lunch with my great aunt at her ‘Retirement Home’. I hadn’t seen Beverly since Granny’s funeral not quite 3 years ago. Have I mentioned that Beverly has emphysema? Have I mentioned how I feel about smoking? I didn’t think so. ;)
I’ve got more, but the meds are kicking in and I need to pass out. (
I don’t know how many Christmas nights I cried. I honestly don’t.
OMG, I just remembered that Christmas was the day Michele and I celebrated our anniversary. I didn’t think about that even once today. Didn’t cross my mind. I am surely going to hell. God, how could I not remember Christmas was our anniversary? That’s sad. I called Mich today to wish her a Merry Christmas and she was a total butt. All I could feel is relief that I didn’t have to deal with whatever mood she is in. (Except missing my babies, that is.)
At any rate… I’ve spent a lot of holiday nights alone after Michele had passed out. I remember calling Rachel one Christmas at 8pm and crying because Michele was already sleeping. New Year’s Eve is pretty much the same story. Valentine’s Day. Thanksgiving. The nice thing about this is that now I am incredibly thankful for holidays that don’t make me cry. I’m pretty simple at this point.
Anyhoo, Christmas Eve/Day was pretty nice. Christmas Eve was spent with my family, as usual. I ended up staying up late with Alex. We were going through his music files and making lists of music to download. I spent the night with my parents. I woke up to hearing my parents talking in the kitchen. Santa left me a stocking. I had a Starbucks gift card, Starburst, fruit, hot chocolate, etc. Mom, Dad, Alex and I went to have lunch with my great aunt at her ‘Retirement Home’. I hadn’t seen Beverly since Granny’s funeral not quite 3 years ago. Have I mentioned that Beverly has emphysema? Have I mentioned how I feel about smoking? I didn’t think so. ;)
I’ve got more, but the meds are kicking in and I need to pass out. (
Dawn, 2:08 AM
