Dawn's Digression.
Monday, March 29, 2004
I'm going to rate the weekend as overall pretty good. It was really hectic, which sucks, but no major catastrophies, so that's a good thing.
Saturday Mich and I went to the mall where we spent entirely too much time and money. I bought an outfit for Jennifer's wedding. I'm not overly excited about it, but it'll do. It's a light blue pantsuit with tiny white pinstripes. It's okay. It was pretty cheap and comfortable, plus it is something I can wear to work later. Now I just need matching shoes!
Sunday was the first softball games of the season. Would you believe it rained? Sucks. Already a rain out, and it's the first day of the season. So now, games have to be played on Mother's Day. Sucks to be them.
I have a Social Psych test on Thursday. I still have 2 chapters to read. Eighty pages. Plus, I have homework due in stats on Wed. What fun, what fun.
I didn't buy any new plants this weekend, thank God. I still haven't found something to do with the ones I bought during the week.
I'm obviously in some sort of funk. I'm totally dreading my meeting with my therapist tonight. He gave me an assignment that not only did I not to, I had no intention of doing it. He wanted me to do/say FIFTY things a day to build myself up. And he wanted me to log them. That's 350 things. Yeah, riiiight. WTFever.
I'm about two shakes of a stick from completely losing my mind. I try to keep it normal, but I don't think it's working. There's not a damn thing wrong with me! So silly. I'm not saying I'm not okay. I usually am. I just have these little moments of crazy that are ticking me off. When I talk to people, I'm very... um... well, not well-spoken, I'm never well-spoken, but better spoken that usual. I'm more factual than emotional. I seem to think I appear to be level headed right now. Calm, cool, and under control. Until you get me at home. Good Lord. Poor Michele. There are times I want to talk to her so badly, but I can't get the words to come out. They stick in my throat. She'll even ask me what I'm thinking sometimes when I want to talk, and I can't answer. I don't know if it is because I think I'm going to cry, if I'm scared to share the particular thought/emotion, or maybe if I just feel stupid. It doesn't make any sense, though, to not be talking to the person I affect the most. (I hate the word 'effect'. I never know if it is 'affect' or 'effect', and no matter how many times I look it up, I still don't get it. Kinda like with 'gray' and 'grey'. What's the damn difference?) A~, I'm taking the 'One Day at a Time" approach. Honestly, so far it's been working. I about lost my beans last night, so I went for a bike ride. I saw myself going somewhere I've been and I don't want to be. So, I got out of the house and rode. I think that was the best thing I could do at the time. Well, the best thing would be to not lose one's beans. The next best thing is to make yourself scarce and blow off some steam. It worked. Plus, I'm learning a lot more about our neighborhood. The houses get pretty fancy a few blocks over. Who knew?
My mom's MRI is tomorrow. I can't believe we have to wait almost a week for the results. Doesn't that seem like cruel and unusual punishment? What else could she possibly think about all week? That sucks.
Michele is having two MRIs on Wednesday (I think she's trying to show up my mother!) for Gimpy Leg. They're saying it shouldn't still hurt when she sleeps. Poor thing. It bothers her 24-7. It wasn't even a good game of racquetball. They're checking her blood clot again this afternoon.
*yawn*
Am I sure I want to take classes during the summer? I saw Dr. H-J is teaching her class on Saturdays in fall. (Saturday school? Gee, I just don't know...) But, the other class won't be offered at a time I can take it. Sucks, sucks, SUCKS!
How could I possibly be hungry? And here I sit, no Lunchable. Whatever will I do? Crackers. I choose to eat crackers. Woo-freakin-hoo.
We have a yard full of violets and strawberries. We're going to have to pay ChemLawn to come out. Our grass was so pretty last year! I want to dig up a little bed we have with groundcover and put in some plants that attract butterflies. I also want to dig up part of the backyard and make it into a little area with a birdbath, some evening primrose, and a crepe myrtle. I'm certain I just spelled that wrong. Maybe it is a crete myrtle? No, that's not it. Oh, you know what I mean! I could use some cypress mulch in the bed, and just put a couple of flowering bushes or something. Then, of course, I'd have take care of that area. Is anyone still reading this boring shit?
It's funny about the trees, isn't it?
I mean, it's funny that one day they are nothing but a bunch of sticks. The next day they have cute little blooms. If you forget to look for a few days, you completely miss it. Much as I hate summer, I sure do love to watch things come back to life. It makes me smile. (Good GOD. I just crossed over into cheese-ville.)
I think on that note, I'll quit typing. Wish me luck keeping my beans and staying awake in class tonight! :)
Saturday Mich and I went to the mall where we spent entirely too much time and money. I bought an outfit for Jennifer's wedding. I'm not overly excited about it, but it'll do. It's a light blue pantsuit with tiny white pinstripes. It's okay. It was pretty cheap and comfortable, plus it is something I can wear to work later. Now I just need matching shoes!
Sunday was the first softball games of the season. Would you believe it rained? Sucks. Already a rain out, and it's the first day of the season. So now, games have to be played on Mother's Day. Sucks to be them.
I have a Social Psych test on Thursday. I still have 2 chapters to read. Eighty pages. Plus, I have homework due in stats on Wed. What fun, what fun.
I didn't buy any new plants this weekend, thank God. I still haven't found something to do with the ones I bought during the week.
I'm obviously in some sort of funk. I'm totally dreading my meeting with my therapist tonight. He gave me an assignment that not only did I not to, I had no intention of doing it. He wanted me to do/say FIFTY things a day to build myself up. And he wanted me to log them. That's 350 things. Yeah, riiiight. WTFever.
I'm about two shakes of a stick from completely losing my mind. I try to keep it normal, but I don't think it's working. There's not a damn thing wrong with me! So silly. I'm not saying I'm not okay. I usually am. I just have these little moments of crazy that are ticking me off. When I talk to people, I'm very... um... well, not well-spoken, I'm never well-spoken, but better spoken that usual. I'm more factual than emotional. I seem to think I appear to be level headed right now. Calm, cool, and under control. Until you get me at home. Good Lord. Poor Michele. There are times I want to talk to her so badly, but I can't get the words to come out. They stick in my throat. She'll even ask me what I'm thinking sometimes when I want to talk, and I can't answer. I don't know if it is because I think I'm going to cry, if I'm scared to share the particular thought/emotion, or maybe if I just feel stupid. It doesn't make any sense, though, to not be talking to the person I affect the most. (I hate the word 'effect'. I never know if it is 'affect' or 'effect', and no matter how many times I look it up, I still don't get it. Kinda like with 'gray' and 'grey'. What's the damn difference?) A~, I'm taking the 'One Day at a Time" approach. Honestly, so far it's been working. I about lost my beans last night, so I went for a bike ride. I saw myself going somewhere I've been and I don't want to be. So, I got out of the house and rode. I think that was the best thing I could do at the time. Well, the best thing would be to not lose one's beans. The next best thing is to make yourself scarce and blow off some steam. It worked. Plus, I'm learning a lot more about our neighborhood. The houses get pretty fancy a few blocks over. Who knew?
My mom's MRI is tomorrow. I can't believe we have to wait almost a week for the results. Doesn't that seem like cruel and unusual punishment? What else could she possibly think about all week? That sucks.
Michele is having two MRIs on Wednesday (I think she's trying to show up my mother!) for Gimpy Leg. They're saying it shouldn't still hurt when she sleeps. Poor thing. It bothers her 24-7. It wasn't even a good game of racquetball. They're checking her blood clot again this afternoon.
*yawn*
Am I sure I want to take classes during the summer? I saw Dr. H-J is teaching her class on Saturdays in fall. (Saturday school? Gee, I just don't know...) But, the other class won't be offered at a time I can take it. Sucks, sucks, SUCKS!
How could I possibly be hungry? And here I sit, no Lunchable. Whatever will I do? Crackers. I choose to eat crackers. Woo-freakin-hoo.
We have a yard full of violets and strawberries. We're going to have to pay ChemLawn to come out. Our grass was so pretty last year! I want to dig up a little bed we have with groundcover and put in some plants that attract butterflies. I also want to dig up part of the backyard and make it into a little area with a birdbath, some evening primrose, and a crepe myrtle. I'm certain I just spelled that wrong. Maybe it is a crete myrtle? No, that's not it. Oh, you know what I mean! I could use some cypress mulch in the bed, and just put a couple of flowering bushes or something. Then, of course, I'd have take care of that area. Is anyone still reading this boring shit?
It's funny about the trees, isn't it?
I mean, it's funny that one day they are nothing but a bunch of sticks. The next day they have cute little blooms. If you forget to look for a few days, you completely miss it. Much as I hate summer, I sure do love to watch things come back to life. It makes me smile. (Good GOD. I just crossed over into cheese-ville.)
I think on that note, I'll quit typing. Wish me luck keeping my beans and staying awake in class tonight! :)
Dawn, 3:50 PM
