Dawn's Digression.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Cancer
I have fucking had it with cancer. I've had it. Maybe I need to become a doctor and find a damn cure. It's pissing me off.
I lost 2 grandparents and a very close family friend. My dad's dad is in the hospital right now. I believe he had polyps removed from his colon. (I think. I forget details. I'm awful, I know.) My mother has an MRI on Tuesday because they found an adenoid on her adrenal gland. I had to look all that up on the internet, because I seem to be a medical retard. What class do I take to fix that? Anatomy and Physiology?
My mom really concerns me. Her health has been shitty forever, and nothing seems to help. She's really young (46), but damn if she isn't falling apart. I keep telling her to please fix whatever is wrong with her. I just don't know what I'd do if something happened to my mommy. I don't believe she is in extreme danger right now, but I'm concerned anyway. One of my cousins, Chelle, says that she is okay with death. Gosh, I wish I were. When Granny died, she said it was time and that she had a good life. I know this to be true, but I still wasn't okay with it. It's hard to say good-bye to people, and I just ever want to have to say it to my parents. Parents should be invincible.
I've been thinking a lot lately that I need to go ahead and have that colonoscopy I should have had almost 2 years ago. I'm just such a chicken shit. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with me, but dammit if my stomach doesn't hurt quite a lot. (I use the term 'stomach' quite loosely to mean everything in that region.) I am happy to report, though, the weird pain I had for about a week seems to be gone. Yay! Maybe I was ovulating. The timing just isn't right on that. Not that my body timing is all that consistent. (Sorry, Gil and any other male readers.)
I lost 2 grandparents and a very close family friend. My dad's dad is in the hospital right now. I believe he had polyps removed from his colon. (I think. I forget details. I'm awful, I know.) My mother has an MRI on Tuesday because they found an adenoid on her adrenal gland. I had to look all that up on the internet, because I seem to be a medical retard. What class do I take to fix that? Anatomy and Physiology?
My mom really concerns me. Her health has been shitty forever, and nothing seems to help. She's really young (46), but damn if she isn't falling apart. I keep telling her to please fix whatever is wrong with her. I just don't know what I'd do if something happened to my mommy. I don't believe she is in extreme danger right now, but I'm concerned anyway. One of my cousins, Chelle, says that she is okay with death. Gosh, I wish I were. When Granny died, she said it was time and that she had a good life. I know this to be true, but I still wasn't okay with it. It's hard to say good-bye to people, and I just ever want to have to say it to my parents. Parents should be invincible.
I've been thinking a lot lately that I need to go ahead and have that colonoscopy I should have had almost 2 years ago. I'm just such a chicken shit. I'm sure there is nothing wrong with me, but dammit if my stomach doesn't hurt quite a lot. (I use the term 'stomach' quite loosely to mean everything in that region.) I am happy to report, though, the weird pain I had for about a week seems to be gone. Yay! Maybe I was ovulating. The timing just isn't right on that. Not that my body timing is all that consistent. (Sorry, Gil and any other male readers.)
Dawn, 9:17 AM
