Dawn's Digression.
Monday, March 29, 2004
As I drove to work this morning, I wondered what would happen if I just kept on driving. Kept driving west. I could check out Amarillo. Woo! Maybe stop in Sante Fe. Shop at the Indian reservations and pet a buffalo or two. Drive through to Arizona. Spend a day or two relaxing in Sedona. Then I think I'd head north. I wonder how far I could drive before A) the truck broke down B) I ran out of money or C) I felt guilty for leaving.
I feel like there isn't enough time. Everything has to be done NOW. Of course, I can't meet that goal, and it brings me anxiety. I can't seem to find words for what I mean. I guess I feel like I've lost a lot of time with people and things. For some bizarre reason, I'm feeling the heat from that. I must be smothering poor Michele. I just want to spend every second with her, because I'm afraid the seconds are going to go away. I think about the times we fought and how much time we wasted and it makes me sick. Life is too short and we never know how long we have with someone.
If this persists for another week, I'm calling the doctor and telling him my medication isn't working out.
I feel like there isn't enough time. Everything has to be done NOW. Of course, I can't meet that goal, and it brings me anxiety. I can't seem to find words for what I mean. I guess I feel like I've lost a lot of time with people and things. For some bizarre reason, I'm feeling the heat from that. I must be smothering poor Michele. I just want to spend every second with her, because I'm afraid the seconds are going to go away. I think about the times we fought and how much time we wasted and it makes me sick. Life is too short and we never know how long we have with someone.
If this persists for another week, I'm calling the doctor and telling him my medication isn't working out.
Dawn, 8:45 AM
