Dawn's Digression.
Thursday, September 18, 2003
9 More Days...
The closer the day gets, the less disagreements Michele and I have. I am feeling less and less anxiety over what the whole marriage things means and more and more relieved about what it means. I love the stability of it all. I love knowing that every day when I come home there will be someone there that loves me, wants what is best for me, and will be with me no matter what happens. I love that security. I love that the bottom just fell out of my checkbook (more to follow), but that although it really sucks, I don't have to worry about it. I just landed the Michele Savings & Loan account. I can pay her back eventually, and really, I don't even need to feel bad about it. We're a team, now. How freakin' cool is that?
So, I have an emergency dentist appointment today. You know those two teeth that need crowns? Yeah, well, I've been crunching on something since last night. Pieces of tooth, I'm lead to believe. $760. That's right, boys and girls. More money than I have in my savings account, and let's not forget about that trip to Vermont next week! Airline tickets, car rental, a bed and breakfast that is about $550 for three nights + accommodations for the other 2 nights, food, activities, liquor, officiant fees, getting hair and nails done, etc etc etc. And we musn't forget the reception. It goes on forever. *deep breath* I'm going to try not to freak out until after vacation and I know what all the actual damage is. I'm going to try some meditation and see if I can just enjoy the next two weeks of my life. I owe that to myself and to Michele, but I have a feeling the freak is on after that. Perhaps a second job is in order. I'm not going to school right now, anyway, right?
And even though I have all these financial obstacles, I am spending money like it's nothing. Money here, money there. It's insane. You ever get to the point where you've already spent so much money you don't have you figure "What's the harm?"? Well, I'm there. I think we'll not give Xmas gifts this year. Or maybe I'll make gifts. But you know, even when you make gifts, it ends up being just as expensive as buying them. Poopy-scoopy.
I just gave myself tight shoulders.
But, on the upside, I'm fine with getting married. Excited, even.
So, I have an emergency dentist appointment today. You know those two teeth that need crowns? Yeah, well, I've been crunching on something since last night. Pieces of tooth, I'm lead to believe. $760. That's right, boys and girls. More money than I have in my savings account, and let's not forget about that trip to Vermont next week! Airline tickets, car rental, a bed and breakfast that is about $550 for three nights + accommodations for the other 2 nights, food, activities, liquor, officiant fees, getting hair and nails done, etc etc etc. And we musn't forget the reception. It goes on forever. *deep breath* I'm going to try not to freak out until after vacation and I know what all the actual damage is. I'm going to try some meditation and see if I can just enjoy the next two weeks of my life. I owe that to myself and to Michele, but I have a feeling the freak is on after that. Perhaps a second job is in order. I'm not going to school right now, anyway, right?
And even though I have all these financial obstacles, I am spending money like it's nothing. Money here, money there. It's insane. You ever get to the point where you've already spent so much money you don't have you figure "What's the harm?"? Well, I'm there. I think we'll not give Xmas gifts this year. Or maybe I'll make gifts. But you know, even when you make gifts, it ends up being just as expensive as buying them. Poopy-scoopy.
I just gave myself tight shoulders.
But, on the upside, I'm fine with getting married. Excited, even.
Dawn, 10:17 AM
