Dawn's Digression.
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Can you believe it? Two posts in one day? I just felt so good after posting the Year in Review, I felt the need to log on and share some happiness with you. I'm even logged on from home, using pesky dial up. How's that for love? I type, and letters appear only after I have moved on to the next letter, or even the next word. Fun, fun.
Anyway, so I'm thinking on the drive home...
Wow, Dawn. Did you see that list of people that were good to you this year? Yeah, yeah, I did. But I'm still sad. Of course you are! So much change in so little time. And you're angry because someone...something, rather... took something you weren't ready to give up. Who do I know with a medication rap sheet like mine who could withstand what I've seen this year without help? No one. And, yeah, of course, other people have had bigger years. Years both worse and better than mine. But they aren't me.
And how blessed am I to have what and who I have? And how do I always forget this? It's disgusting and pitiful. I'm not going to beat myself up today, though. I'm not going to do it. I'm having a jolly moment, and I'll be damned if I let me steal it from myself.
I want 2004 to be different. I want to not be so sad and angry. I'm working on this. I want to feel joy for the things I am fortunate to have, not despair for what isn't perfect. I want to spend more time with friends. See if I can give back any of what I received from them this year. I learned who my friends were this year. I was fortunate to find that there were few surprises. Most of the surprises were good. Most. ;)
I have a lot of things. I have a wife, a house, a job. A truck that works and will be paid off in April. A loving family that not only accepts who I am, but loves who I am. I have 3 healthy kitties and a somewhat cute dog. I start school in two weeks. I have enough money to pay the bills. None of these things are perfect, but what is? I have them. Instead of looking for things to be wrong, I need to be grateful for these things I have that are right.
(Someone copy and paste this and save it. E-mail it, or even snail mail it to me when it seems I need it.)
Anyway, so I'm thinking on the drive home...
Wow, Dawn. Did you see that list of people that were good to you this year? Yeah, yeah, I did. But I'm still sad. Of course you are! So much change in so little time. And you're angry because someone...something, rather... took something you weren't ready to give up. Who do I know with a medication rap sheet like mine who could withstand what I've seen this year without help? No one. And, yeah, of course, other people have had bigger years. Years both worse and better than mine. But they aren't me.
And how blessed am I to have what and who I have? And how do I always forget this? It's disgusting and pitiful. I'm not going to beat myself up today, though. I'm not going to do it. I'm having a jolly moment, and I'll be damned if I let me steal it from myself.
I want 2004 to be different. I want to not be so sad and angry. I'm working on this. I want to feel joy for the things I am fortunate to have, not despair for what isn't perfect. I want to spend more time with friends. See if I can give back any of what I received from them this year. I learned who my friends were this year. I was fortunate to find that there were few surprises. Most of the surprises were good. Most. ;)
I have a lot of things. I have a wife, a house, a job. A truck that works and will be paid off in April. A loving family that not only accepts who I am, but loves who I am. I have 3 healthy kitties and a somewhat cute dog. I start school in two weeks. I have enough money to pay the bills. None of these things are perfect, but what is? I have them. Instead of looking for things to be wrong, I need to be grateful for these things I have that are right.
(Someone copy and paste this and save it. E-mail it, or even snail mail it to me when it seems I need it.)
Dawn, 1:25 PM
