Dawn's Digression.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Today is flying by. Flying, I tell you.
I haven't talked to Ruby in three weeks. I have no idea what is up. I have been attempting to recall if I said or did something that would hurt her feelings. If I did, I'm completely oblivious. Not that I've been calling her every day or anything like that. I actually only called once, and now I've just emailed twice. I am thinking, though, that Ruby is going through her own things. I just wish that she would let me be her friend. I know I am physically far from her, but it doesn't mean I can't still be her friend. I know, too, that I have been busy lately. Ah-ha. I just remembered the last time we spoke. She called me about something, but Michele and I were leaving. I could only talk for a few minutes, and I didn't call her back. Maybe she's upset because I didn't call her back. Or maybe, Oh Self-Centered One, she is dealing with her own shit. I'm actually worried about her at this point, though. Ruby, if you're reading this, for God's sake, drop me a line.
This is not my favorite picture of Ruby and I. I'm not going to post the good one, though, until I can get it to her. I love my Ruby.
I've been talking to Rachel a lot more, though, and you know I just love that. It makes my day when Rachel calls. I remember a brief time when it ruined my day, and those were the darkest days of my life. Thank God we got through all of that. Hmmm. I may have mentioned that here once or twice. Sorry. You know how I get all gushy sometimes.
Okay, I said I'm sorry but I guess I didn't really mean it because I have more to say.
When we were younger, Rachel and I could actually read each other's minds sometimes. I remember one time in particular, we were sitting in the floor of the apartment Ruby and I lived in. I believe we were listening to Melissa Etheridge. Someone else in the room made a comment, and I distinctly heard Rachel make a smart ass reply. I knew, though, that she hadn't said it aloud. I looked at her and said, "I heard that!" and we both cracked up. That was weird. It's funny, though, because after we had been together a few years we didn't even know how each other felt. Sad. A lot of that is my fault. I have a tendency to pull away once I'm in a relationship. I'm all about sharing until we're together. Then I just quit talking. Am I afraid of rocking the boat? Saying something inappropriate? I don't know. I just know I clam up. That's stupid. I do it anyway.
I just ripped my favorite jeans. I've had these jeans for literally 5 years. The zipper doesn't stay up, the hems are frayed. And for the most part, they are crotchless. I have a hole the size of a tennis ball in the crotch. I was pulling my pants down by putting my hand in the back pocket and pulling down. I ripped the pocket off. Sucks, man.
Oh my God. I am so sick. I mean I feel sick.
I haven't talked to Ruby in three weeks. I have no idea what is up. I have been attempting to recall if I said or did something that would hurt her feelings. If I did, I'm completely oblivious. Not that I've been calling her every day or anything like that. I actually only called once, and now I've just emailed twice. I am thinking, though, that Ruby is going through her own things. I just wish that she would let me be her friend. I know I am physically far from her, but it doesn't mean I can't still be her friend. I know, too, that I have been busy lately. Ah-ha. I just remembered the last time we spoke. She called me about something, but Michele and I were leaving. I could only talk for a few minutes, and I didn't call her back. Maybe she's upset because I didn't call her back. Or maybe, Oh Self-Centered One, she is dealing with her own shit. I'm actually worried about her at this point, though. Ruby, if you're reading this, for God's sake, drop me a line.
This is not my favorite picture of Ruby and I. I'm not going to post the good one, though, until I can get it to her. I love my Ruby.
I've been talking to Rachel a lot more, though, and you know I just love that. It makes my day when Rachel calls. I remember a brief time when it ruined my day, and those were the darkest days of my life. Thank God we got through all of that. Hmmm. I may have mentioned that here once or twice. Sorry. You know how I get all gushy sometimes.
Okay, I said I'm sorry but I guess I didn't really mean it because I have more to say.
When we were younger, Rachel and I could actually read each other's minds sometimes. I remember one time in particular, we were sitting in the floor of the apartment Ruby and I lived in. I believe we were listening to Melissa Etheridge. Someone else in the room made a comment, and I distinctly heard Rachel make a smart ass reply. I knew, though, that she hadn't said it aloud. I looked at her and said, "I heard that!" and we both cracked up. That was weird. It's funny, though, because after we had been together a few years we didn't even know how each other felt. Sad. A lot of that is my fault. I have a tendency to pull away once I'm in a relationship. I'm all about sharing until we're together. Then I just quit talking. Am I afraid of rocking the boat? Saying something inappropriate? I don't know. I just know I clam up. That's stupid. I do it anyway.
I just ripped my favorite jeans. I've had these jeans for literally 5 years. The zipper doesn't stay up, the hems are frayed. And for the most part, they are crotchless. I have a hole the size of a tennis ball in the crotch. I was pulling my pants down by putting my hand in the back pocket and pulling down. I ripped the pocket off. Sucks, man.
Oh my God. I am so sick. I mean I feel sick.
Dawn, 12:47 PM
