Dawn's Digression.

I don't have the stamina to get into a lot of it. I just wanted to update my friends that read this without having to type it over and over and without having to get worked up multiple times. My grandmother is not okay. I found out on Friday that she has at least lung cancer. They think there is more, but they aren't doing tests to find it because it doesn't matter. It is too far advanced for it to do any good to know. We don't know really what to expect or how long she has. I'm having a hard time with this, so don't be offended if maybe my posts and emails aren't as frequent. I am doing my best at avoidance, because really allowing myself to feel just hurts too much.
On Saturday, I met my friend to watch The Hours again. I cried all the way out there. It was awful. I was trying to regain enough composure so that she wouldn't know how upset I was when I saw her. The really groovy thing about this friend is that she is someone who when she asks how I am, I can say, "I've been better." She doesn't expect the lying fluff we tell people. And it's okay if she replies that she has been better also. I hate when you have to pretend with people. It just isn't me.
A~, I have to go now. I'm going to try to read myself to sleep. I'm not sleeping well at all.