Dawn's Digression.
Monday, July 15, 2002
You would think my parents would've known I was a lesbian when I refused to wear any shoes besides my cleats when I was in 4th grade. I played soccer that year, so my parents had to buy me the appropriate shoes. I don't remember being at all excited about shoe shopping, but those shoes were the coolest ever. They had bunches of tiny cleats on the bottom, not those big cleats for baseball. Just tiny mini-cleats. I'm not sure what was cooler about the shoes -- the cleats themselves or the way the tongue flipped over the tied shoestrings. The tongue had a logo on it and everything. I suppose they made me feel butch or something. Which I wasn't. And I'm not. But for some reason they made me feel strong. I have no idea what happened to those shoes, but I am willing to bet I wore them out. I looked all over the internet for a good picture, but all I found was this. Mine were white canvas with black stripes.
I actually really liked soccer. I thought it was fun. And I really didn't suck that bad. My problem was that I wasn't aggressive enough. I was left wing (if I dare act like I remember what the position was. It was defensive. I know that. Now I'm thinking half back. I think maybe we better assume I don't really know what position I was. Just that I was in the back). And I liked it best there. I didn't want to be offense and I have to run up to people. I would much rather just defend myself. But I loved that running and kicking thing. Always did. Probably still would if I could run.
I used to love to run. When I was in elementary school, I could run faster than any of the guys. They hated it. I got made fun of for it sometimes, too. That was one thing I didn't mind getting made fun of for, though. I was always the first girl picked for the teams in PE, too. Even before some of the boys occassionally. I could run, and I had S.kills (you say that ess. kills.) with the basketball.
Flash forward 15 years. I got no s.kills. None. Running? HA! You must be kidding. Not here, not ever. Basketball? Um. Yeah. I really wish I had held on to some of those tomboyish characteristics. I even went through a phase where I rode my bike 8 - 10 miles a day. (I knew how far it was because it was exactly 1 mile to my grandmother's house, and I would ride back and forth) Actually, I think that phase had a little bit of anorexia involved, but at least I was physically fit, right?
Anyway, my point is that I don't know why I ever fought the whole gay thing. (If you can call what I did 'fighting' it) I spent a little too much time wondering if that was what I wanted. I think the cleat story alone pretty much says it all. (After researching on the internet, I see those are actually 'turf shoes'. W~)
I bought a new lint brush awhile back. One of those that is actually just a roll of inverted tape. It sucks. Do not purchase 'evercare' lint brush refills. The tape is kinda gummy or something. The packaging says it is '37% stickier', but I just don't know about that. I'll try it a bit longer and give you an update. No doubt, you'll be sitting on the edge of your chair.
I actually really liked soccer. I thought it was fun. And I really didn't suck that bad. My problem was that I wasn't aggressive enough. I was left wing (if I dare act like I remember what the position was. It was defensive. I know that. Now I'm thinking half back. I think maybe we better assume I don't really know what position I was. Just that I was in the back). And I liked it best there. I didn't want to be offense and I have to run up to people. I would much rather just defend myself. But I loved that running and kicking thing. Always did. Probably still would if I could run.
I used to love to run. When I was in elementary school, I could run faster than any of the guys. They hated it. I got made fun of for it sometimes, too. That was one thing I didn't mind getting made fun of for, though. I was always the first girl picked for the teams in PE, too. Even before some of the boys occassionally. I could run, and I had S.kills (you say that ess. kills.) with the basketball.
Flash forward 15 years. I got no s.kills. None. Running? HA! You must be kidding. Not here, not ever. Basketball? Um. Yeah. I really wish I had held on to some of those tomboyish characteristics. I even went through a phase where I rode my bike 8 - 10 miles a day. (I knew how far it was because it was exactly 1 mile to my grandmother's house, and I would ride back and forth) Actually, I think that phase had a little bit of anorexia involved, but at least I was physically fit, right?
Anyway, my point is that I don't know why I ever fought the whole gay thing. (If you can call what I did 'fighting' it) I spent a little too much time wondering if that was what I wanted. I think the cleat story alone pretty much says it all. (After researching on the internet, I see those are actually 'turf shoes'. W~)
I bought a new lint brush awhile back. One of those that is actually just a roll of inverted tape. It sucks. Do not purchase 'evercare' lint brush refills. The tape is kinda gummy or something. The packaging says it is '37% stickier', but I just don't know about that. I'll try it a bit longer and give you an update. No doubt, you'll be sitting on the edge of your chair.
Dawn, 1:42 PM
