Dawn's Digression.
Monday, February 18, 2002
Not a whole heckofa lot to say tonight. I just wanted to get my blog set up and see how it works. I used to send out daily rants to a group of friends, just a bunch of ideas, but I think it may have gotten annoying. They said they liked them, but who knows. My girlfriend says I have a knack for the commentary, but I'm not sure of this. When I read what others write, I see a lot more creativity. But I wish it were true and that I did have the gift of the pen. I've enjoyed writing my whole life. I have journals, still, from 6th grade. I have poetry from high school. I gave up on the poetry years ago due to the fact that it sucked mightily. Oh yea, it was WAY bad.
So, I saw this blog online titled "little. yellow. different." and I almost bust a gut because I used to say that all the time. Remember, from the plug in Wayne's World 2, where they said they'd never sell out?? hehe God help me, I love that movie. I want to watch it. I just wish I had someone to watch it with me. Movies just aren't the same to me if I have to watch alone. Why doesn't anyone else have a sense of humor as good as mine? Those Wayne's World movies ROCK. Don't they? Right? Hmmmm. Maybe I'm a little off in my judgement....
My back hurts. I've been sitting at this computer for a couple of hours now. Downloading songs from AudioGalaxy. I need to dl all of the Indigo Girls new songs before I see them in concert on Friday. Right now, my favorite song is Hope Alone. Makes me sniffle, a little. Well, actually I love Moment of Forgiveness, too. I'm an Indigo Girls freak. I used to be more of a freak about it, though. I used to speak in IG lyrics quite a bit. Because sometimes it just sums up an entire thought. If I can say "Cold Beer", I can sum up to someone an entire picture and thought process in my mind. I suppose it is Cliff Notes in Dawnspeak. I'll probably do quite a bit of Dawnspeak in my Blog since no one else will probably even read it. That's okay. I just need to vent a lot. Some call me a drama queen. But since someone called me that about a year ago, I've held back quite a bit. I don't share the feelings like I used to. It becomes hard to tell what the difference is between sharing and being a drama queen. That really hurt my feelings. Ya know? I was going through a horrible time in my life. But. Luckily, I can say, the worst is over. It's amazing what a difference a year makes and how the heart can heal in that time. I never thought I'd be okay again, but I am. And I am so much stronger for it. And I've learned not to count on anyone. There hasn't been a person who has been everything to me. Which is something I used to expect. I thought there must be ONE person who could be everything. Now I know it takes several to makeup a support system. And there were moments where even the most supportive of my friends couldn't help me. I'm not upset with the times I was left to help myself. It was about time.
But things are mostly fine. I haven't had a 'down' since Christmas. And even that down was bittersweet. I felt so strong for being alone on Christmas and being happy about it. But then I snapped the next day, and it was ugly. But before that it was August when I was down. And this is progress. Progress is good.
So, I saw this blog online titled "little. yellow. different." and I almost bust a gut because I used to say that all the time. Remember, from the plug in Wayne's World 2, where they said they'd never sell out?? hehe God help me, I love that movie. I want to watch it. I just wish I had someone to watch it with me. Movies just aren't the same to me if I have to watch alone. Why doesn't anyone else have a sense of humor as good as mine? Those Wayne's World movies ROCK. Don't they? Right? Hmmmm. Maybe I'm a little off in my judgement....
My back hurts. I've been sitting at this computer for a couple of hours now. Downloading songs from AudioGalaxy. I need to dl all of the Indigo Girls new songs before I see them in concert on Friday. Right now, my favorite song is Hope Alone. Makes me sniffle, a little. Well, actually I love Moment of Forgiveness, too. I'm an Indigo Girls freak. I used to be more of a freak about it, though. I used to speak in IG lyrics quite a bit. Because sometimes it just sums up an entire thought. If I can say "Cold Beer", I can sum up to someone an entire picture and thought process in my mind. I suppose it is Cliff Notes in Dawnspeak. I'll probably do quite a bit of Dawnspeak in my Blog since no one else will probably even read it. That's okay. I just need to vent a lot. Some call me a drama queen. But since someone called me that about a year ago, I've held back quite a bit. I don't share the feelings like I used to. It becomes hard to tell what the difference is between sharing and being a drama queen. That really hurt my feelings. Ya know? I was going through a horrible time in my life. But. Luckily, I can say, the worst is over. It's amazing what a difference a year makes and how the heart can heal in that time. I never thought I'd be okay again, but I am. And I am so much stronger for it. And I've learned not to count on anyone. There hasn't been a person who has been everything to me. Which is something I used to expect. I thought there must be ONE person who could be everything. Now I know it takes several to makeup a support system. And there were moments where even the most supportive of my friends couldn't help me. I'm not upset with the times I was left to help myself. It was about time.
But things are mostly fine. I haven't had a 'down' since Christmas. And even that down was bittersweet. I felt so strong for being alone on Christmas and being happy about it. But then I snapped the next day, and it was ugly. But before that it was August when I was down. And this is progress. Progress is good.
Dawn, 9:00 PM
